Enough Changed
by Domicile
Summary: She moaned. She could hear the sound come out of her throat but hell, she hadn’t meant to make it. Only this was Sam. Her Sam. Her best friend. And the only person in the world who made her heart pound like this. Cam
1. Chapter 1

It had been just the quickest of kisses. A peck. Nothing more. Well, a peck four or five times, but nothing more. And yet, she was still reeling. She could still feel her soft lips. She could still taste the molten tip of her tongue. She was drowning in the sensation. Fireworks went off behind her eyes. What was the big deal? It was just a simple kiss: god knew how much further she'd gone than that. But there was something special about this girl. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Or maybe it was something she could pinpoint. This girl of girls had only been her best friend for how many years? Helped her create the most popular variety show on the web. Been there for her when no one else was, even Spencer. This amazing girl that had only kissed her for some guy.

They had been through a lot together over the years. From the web show, to new friends, to new boyfriends, to new classes, to high school, through thick and thin. Ideas, classes, exams, lockers, styles, and food. One thing had always remained constant: their relationship.

But tenth grade was turning into a major changing point. A scary changing point. After spending the summer with her grandfather, she hadn't recognized Sam when she had returned to school in the fall. The Sam she'd left had been short and skinny with her long, curly blonde hair and skater style. The Sam she had returned to looked less middle school and more adult. Quiet and reserved, yet still opinionated and obnoxious. Thoughtful and wise, but immature and outspoken. She was still Sam, just older and… something else. Something she couldn't describe that gave her a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach.

It was that night she recognized the feeling as attraction.

Unfortunately, she wasn't the only one who had noticed. Sam had blossomed into a beauty and everyone knew it. That was how she had merited an invitation to this party. That was why she had been selected to hang out with the cooler kids in the downstairs finished basement. That was why Sam had kissed her when her current crush had dared her to.

Sam had sat back down, laughing along with the others and enjoying the attention "Tyler" was giving her. Carly, on the hand, couldn't seem to slow her heart back down. It felt like it would pound right on out of her chest.

Carly jumped to her feet and stammered out, "Bathroom?" before racing in the direction of the pointing finger. Back upstairs, down the hall, three doors and then silence. The music was so loud she couldn't even hear it anymore. The vibrations wretched through her bones and didn't help her condition. Her face was bright red and she was beginning to sweat.

What was she thinking? This was Sam. Her best friend. Her co-star. Her companion. NOT her love interest. Not her crush. Not someone she wanted to kiss again. But she did. She wanted it. Badly.

She splashed cold water on her face over and over. She couldn't stay. She could feel it. If she went back downstairs Sam would probably be hanging all over Tyler. She couldn't witness that. It would be too painful. Especially now.

Carly grabbed her jacket and sprinted out of the house into the cold October air. The Seattle streets were bustling despite the late hour and she felt very out of place in her own city. She fast-walked past several groups of people talking in hushed voices and one woman who was laughing hysterically. Most people only saw the beautiful sights of Seattle and skipped over the real city. Missed all of the problems that floated just above the surface and really made Seattle one of a kind. Down six blocks, over five and she was back at her apartment building.

The lights were off when she unlocked the front door. Spencer was already in bed, dreaming up his next sculpture. With a sigh, Carly dropped her keys on the table and slipped her jacket off. Up the stairs, stripping off more articles of clothing as she went, and into her bedroom. She was cold, naked, and heartbroken. How could Sam think her kiss would have no effect on her? It didn't matter.

But it did. Tears welled up behind her eyes, coming forward to slide down her cheeks. So this was what being a teenager was about. Crying your eyes out. She smiled at her own petty sarcasm and pulled on a long-sleeve shirt and sweatpants before falling into bed.

xxx xxx xxx xxx

She was not alone in her room.

The sky outside was dark grey and angrily dumping raining over Seattle. Her alarm clock blared 3:48 in highlighter green. A gentle ticking sound whispered from the clock downstairs.

And she was not alone in her room.

Gasping breaths drifted through the silence as someone struggled out of wet clothing and rummaged through her drawers for something warm. The panting continued followed by wet slaps on the floor and tiptoes. And then she wasn't alone in her bed.

"Carly," Hushed, breathy whisper. "Carly." A little louder with a shove at her shoulder.

The shove, despite lacking affection, sent shivers through her body. Shivers only Sam's touch seemed to evoke. She snuggled further into her covers and moaned a little. Sam wasn't here to touch her. So she would rather sleep. Maybe.

"What?" Mumbled through sheets and comforter. Mumbled as if half asleep when she was fully awake.

"You left without me." Sam hissed at her. "Danny said you ran out around one. What happened?"

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Sit up a little to meet Sam's azure eyes. They were dilated in the lack of light and lack of sleep. Her hair was pulled back from her face and dripping. She looked beautiful.

"Sam… what are you doing here? It's almost four in the morning." Carly responded, dropping back onto her pillow.

Sam stayed sitting up, but shoved her cold feet under the blankets. "What's wrong? I thought you wanted to go."

"I did." Carly sighed. "It was staying that was the problem. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"No." Sam snuggled down into her, pulling the blankets tight around them. Her hand slipped easily onto Carly's stomach, rolling her a little to face her. "Talk to me. What's up?"

Her brain was clouding. Sam wanted to have a conversation for once, but that hand, cold as it was, sent heat coursing through her veins. Down her spine. Down _there_. She covered Sam's hand with her own and felt her pulse in her skin.

She pulled Sam to her in what might have seemed like a friendly hug. She wrapped her arms around Sam's waist, resting her hands on her lower back. Sam seemed surprised at first but returned her hug. But then her lips were against her ear in a light kiss and she was whispering something. Carly couldn't focus on her words though. Her head spun, somersaulted. Learned acrobatics without her permission. Sam was so warm and soft and she smelled like rain and… It didn't mean anything to Sam.

With that sudden realization, Carly let go. Rolling away a little and trying to focus on the words coming out of her best friend's mouth.

"Carly?"

"What?"

"Did you miss me while you were at your grandpa's house?" Sam didn't smile or smirk. She didn't shift or jab. She stared straight at her, serious in a way Sam could never be.

"Of course." She replied, just as serious. And she meant it.

"I guess we haven't really hung out just you and me since you got back." Sam whispered, moving closer to take Carly's body heat in an attempt to warm up.

"Sure we have." Carly soothed, feeling an immediate jump in her pulse. "You're freezing!"

Sam chuckled. "I know. That's why you need to stop pulling away." And she pressed herself more firmly against Carly. "Despite being fun, iCarly does not count as hang out time."

"Well, you've been busy and I've been busy." She was heading back to fuzzy. The lean line of Sam was so close, so in reach it scared her. What would Sam do if she traced the feminine curve from her ribs to her hipbone? Would she freak out? Would she just wonder why? What about a kiss? Maybe not to her mouth. Her throat? Would she get mad? Would she leave? Or maybe one of those sexy guttural moans. Ones she only gave for Tyler.

"But you're my best friend. So no excuses work. Its settled then. You and I will spend tomorrow together." She could feel Sam's smile through the dark. "Why is your heart beating so fast? I thought I woke you up."

Her breath caught in her throat. "You, you did. Its nothing."

Sam giggled in her ear. "Why Carly Shay, am I turning you on?"

Carly could feel a blush working its way into her cheeks. "No… shut up."

Another laugh and then she was lost again. Sam pressed her mouth to Carly's. Only lightly, nothing that was going to go very far. But a kiss, a solid kiss. And then her lips were gone. "Don't worry, I'll find you a man. Tyler's friends are hot."

A crack began to form in her heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Rain. Always rain. No matter how many days in a row her eyes strayed out through the window, cloudy grey sky always stared back. What was wrong with this state? Was it trying to reflect her pain or mock it? Or some sick combination? Who knew weather could be so spiteful? Why was she analyzing this?

Carly yanked her gaze back indoors and back to her Biology teacher. Mrs. Greene. How fitting. Mrs. Greene was only about forty, but her body looked a hundred with its droopy skin and wrinkles. Her dress was okay, she guessed, with its floral design and cheerful colors. She was babbling about some cycle. Fascinating.

She sat next to Sam, the target of her affection. Sam wasn't listening either, but texting hastily on her red cell phone under the table. She smiled and giggled and scribbled something or other down on her paper so Mrs. Greene would think she was paying attention and taking notes.

She looked breathtaking today.

At least Carly thought so.

Her blonde curls fell forward over her shoulders and glistened in the sun. Her lips were tinged pink and glossy. Oh how she wanted to taste them. Her eyes were sparkling blue. What wouldn't she give to stare into those for hours on end? She was dressed simply in an orange t-shirt and jeans. She was stunning.

Quickly, Carly averted her eyes. The last thing she needed was more questions like Saturday. She didn't want to talk about their kiss or her need for more of that. She didn't want to talk about how everything Sam did anymore seemed sensual from the way she chewed her food to the way she sharpened her pencil. Just no. Topics off limits.

Their day together hadn't been quite what she had expected. They'd spent the morning several feet apart, Sam on the floor, her on the couch, watching movies and snacking on handy food items. Separate showers.

Carly flushed red.

Separate showers? Of course they had taken separate showers. Had she expected something else? Of course not. Carly took a deep breath and a sip of water. Control regained.

Freddy had showed up around noon. Despite not wanting him there, he was interrupting, she didn't have the heart to send him away. But Sam did and after hours of her insults and jokes, he went back home. She'd stayed for hamburgers, but Spencer had been present, using up all the air and conversation space to explain the turtle sculpture to them. And then, Sam had simply left. A quick, friend-to-friend hug.

She couldn't stand it!

"Ms. Shay? Is something wrong?"

Carly snapped back to reality. She was standing. On the table. All eyes were on her clenched fists as she was apparently cursing the light fixture. Her eyes dropped to her lab partner, but Sam was trying to hide a chuckle and didn't meet her eyes.

Carly bit her lip and smiled, climbing back down to her seat. "Sorry, Mrs. Greene. I just feel really passionate about the… the uh…"

"The hydrogen cycle?"

"Yes! Of course! The hydrogen cycle. I find it really… inspiring." Carly dug her teeth further into her lip as she added a second foot to her mouth. Shit.

But Mrs. Greene smiled, apparently pleased. "I'm happy to hear that, Ms. Shay. But I'm going to have to ask that you remain in your seat and off the table."

Carly nodded, blushing furiously.

Sam jabbed her after Mrs. Greene had returned to her lecture. "What were you really thinking about?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, nothing at all."

Sam opened her mouth to speak, but the bell rang. They packed up their things and headed out. The day was finally over.

"I can't believe its only Monday!" Sam exclaimed, shoving all of her things into her locker and slamming the door. "How the hell am I gonna make it until the weekend?" And she stretched, her shirt slipping up and revealing a sliver of creamy skin.

Drop to her knees and kiss her there. _Right there._ Rubbing her thumbs into her hipbones, tracing her tongue up to her belly button.

"CARLY!"

She jumped, hurdled back into the present. "What?"

"Did you not sleep last night? I swear you are getting more spacey by the day." Sam laughed and led the way out of the school.

Carly started to tell her the truth but caught herself quickly. "No, I didn't. Spencer was up late working on 'Knot a Carnival'. Its actually cool how many things he managed to tie into knots and add in." The truth was Spencer had gone to bed early, needing to sleep over his creativity, and Carly had decided to turn in soon after.

Silence followed for a few minutes.

"So, what were you really thinking about in Biology? And don't say the hydrogen cycle." Sam pressed.

Carly shrugged. "My mind drifted for awhile. I don't know how I ended up on top of the table. Don't remember what I was thinking about either." Carly added with a stern look.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Well, besides that, I have good news concerning you and a certain very hot, and I mean HOT, date on Thursday."

She stopped in her tracks, her heart skipping a beat. Could it be?

Sam stopped too and turned around. An easy smile slipped onto her face. "His name is Brian. He's one of Tyler's best friends."

Carly resumed walking.

She could have fallen over she felt so broken. But of course she wasn't talking about herself. Sam was _straight_. Carly's eyes widened. Was she straight? Here she was, falling all over a girl. Was this just Sam or all girls? Was this a one-time thing? Was she… no? No. Of course she wasn't. Of course she really loved Sam. Best friend thing and all.

Only she could be. She'd never felt much for any of the guys she had dated. No fireworks when they'd fool around. Nothing.

Shit! This was terrible! Couldn't be true! It just couldn't be!

But what was so bad about it? What was wrong with falling in love with someone of the same gender? Sure, it was fine for everyone else, but for her? Yes? No? Maybe?

SMACK!

And she was on her ass. Her hands skidding on the pavement. Her ass feeling all the pangs of carpet burn without the carpet. Her eyes filled, but no tears fell.

And there was Sam, kneeling next to her, asking question after question, trying to get her to stand. But there was laughter in her voice, which only made her really want to cry.

Then she was on her feet, staring at the pole she had hit with astonishing accuracy and speed. Enough to knock her backwards. A headache formed behind her temporal lobe. She leaned her weight onto Sam and held on until her eyes cleared.

Sam was hugging her. Tightly. Brushing her hair away from her face. "What was that, Carly? Where do you keep going? You ran into a freaking pole!"

Carly shrugged against her best friend.

"Are you that into Brian or do you find him that revolting?"

"Brian?"

"Yeah, Tyler's friend. Your date Thursday night?"

"Not… Not revolted. Surprised." Carly pushed away to stand on her own two feet. "You work quickly."

Sam chuckled and they continued to Carly's loft. Dropped their bags, grabbed tasty beverages. Headed on up to her bedroom.

"Are you sure you are okay? You hit pretty hard." Her eyes full of concern, grasping her hand. "Maybe I should take you to the hospital to make sure everything is okay. Or at least go get Spencer."

"I'm fine! I just need you to stay with me for awhile?" Pleading look.

Sam nodded. "Of course, I wasn't planning on leaving right away anyway."

Carly collapsed onto her bed, rubbing her forehead. Damn. Not only wasn't she answering any of her questions, she was drifting so much with them that she was becoming a walking accident. This wasn't good. But what could she do?

And Sam was holding her. Lying on her side, her arms tightly wrapped around her middle. "You're making me worry about you, kid." Sam grinned.

She twisted to face her best friend. "Sorry."

"Don't be. Guess it's my turn to look out for you after all of the years you looked after me."

And then she was kissing her. Softly. The gentlest pressing of lips Carly had ever felt. But it lasted. Several seconds passed before Sam let her lips relax.

A more eager kiss followed. Deeper somehow, more solid and fulfilling. Sam's thumb on her jaw, holding her in place.

She rested her forehead against Carly's cheek. "I'm going to at least go get Spencer. I don't care what you say. He'll know more of what to do than I do."

Sam pressed one last kiss to Carly's forehead and head out of her room. Just like that. A kiss. Two kisses. And then gone in a fashion that was strictly Sam's. Leaving her to lie there alone and achy and… excruciatingly horny.

Carly sighed. Sam wasn't going to make her life any less complicated, was she?


	3. Chapter 3

Weather was… ironic. She'd waited all week for the sun to come out and the rain to stop drenching her beloved Seattle. But no. It couldn't do that for her. Not until about an hour ago, at least.

It was Thursday evening. The sun was low in the sky, clouds skittering away to give the first clear night in weeks. The grass below was soaked beyond capacity and the roads were draining water down into the sewers. Cars driving by still kicked up the dirty aftermath of rain mixing with dirt, but that was all just a part of life in the rainy state.

She didn't actually care about the weather. Not at all, but when in need of distraction, it's a basic thing to focus on. It was better than thinking about the blood red dress she was currently wearing, with its lacey hems and short sleeves and scoop neck. It was better than thinking about how excited her love looked while adding the finishing touches to her makeup.

"And you are done!" Sam announced excitedly, jumping up from the stool she had been previously squatting on. She danced around Carly, pulling her up from her chair to look in the mirror.

Carly closed her eyes. She didn't want to see. She didn't care if she looked pretty or not. Attractive didn't matter tonight. The date wasn't with Sam.

"Oh, come on Carly! Look at yourself! You look amazing!" Then in a lower, twisted kind of voice, "You are my masterpiece. Mwa ha ha!" Sam ended on a smile and curled her hands around Carly's arms.

Carly looked, but her eyes couldn't stray from Sam's face. Her eyes glittered, her lips shined. Her hair was left in its naturally curly state and hanging loose around her face. Two silver studs in each ear and a choker with shells on it.

"So beautiful…" Carly mumbled, blushing immediately after as she hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Sam only nodded. "You are. Derek is going to love it."

"Brian." Carly automatically corrected.

Sam grinned. "I know, just testing you."

"Right," Carly rolled her eyes.

"Are you excited?" Sam was back down on her stool, staring into Carly's eyes, devouring a chocolate chip cookie at a rapid rate.

Carly shrugged. "I guess." She strolled across her bedroom to the window.

"What do you mean you guess? Brian is totally hot and totally into you. He told me this morning how much he was looking forward to this." Sam snatched another cookie.

Raising her eyebrow, Carly turned to Sam and said skeptically, "He told you?"

"Well, he told Tyler and Tyler told me, but he wouldn't lie about that." She twirled onto Carly's bed and rested her chin on the pillow. "I feel really good about this."

"That makes one of us." Carly muttered under her breath, brushing her hair out of her face. "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" She said, loud enough for Sam to hear.

"What? No way. I'm staying over so I can be here when you get home."

She shrugged. "Fine. Its not like it will be late. We have a test in Spanish tomorrow."

"Forget the Spanish test! You stay out with him for as long as you want."

Carly shrugged but was saved from responding by the doorbell ringing. "Guess my date is here."

She headed down the stairs, Sam stumbling after her, and to the door.

Brian wasn't bad, to be completely honest. His dark hair was straightened and little long, falling into his eyes and brushing against his shirt collar. His green eyes were heavily lashed and seemed truly happy to see her. His black and white striped shirt promoted some band underneath a faded black jean jacket. His black cargo pants were held up by a studded belt. Original Converse on his feet.

"Wow." He grinned at her, his full lips turning up. "You look incredible."

She glanced over her shoulder at Sam and her heart broke a little more at the hopeful look on her face.

"Let's go." She said to Brian and ushered him out the door.

They were quiet all the way down to his car. All the way to the restaurant. When they ordered. When their food arrived. And then Brian ended the silence.

"I guess its safe to say this is the absolute last place you want to be." Brian grinned at her.

She returned the grin. "Sorry."

She wasn't, though. She felt nothing for him, even less than nothing. He was Tyler's friend. And Tyler was the enemy. Well, the competition, at least. Not that she was even in the running. Sam wasn't looking at her. Only at him. But why did she keep kissing her then? Pity? Friendship? It didn't matter. She had set her up on a date. That was a clear sign of disinterest.

He shook his head. "Don't be. I had a feeling Sam was forcing this on you. You wouldn't look at me at school all week. I was hoping that was your way of showing how excited you were."

"Its not you, really." Carly tried. No, it was.

"No, it is." He finished off his entrée. Leaned forward, forcing her to make eye contact. "Look, I'm a catch. That might sound conceited, but its true. I don't have a hard time finding dates. And dates don't have such a hard time talking to me, or even just looking at me. Which means you're probably wishing you were here with someone else."

She licked her lips. "You're pretty good at this."

"Yes, yes I am. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try and change your mind. I happen to like you. And dating you would be fun. So maybe for the next couple hours I have with you, you could stop thinking about whoever it is you are thinking about and focus on me?" He asked.

She shrugged. "Sure. Tell me about you."

"I didn't say talking about me. I just meant maybe you could try to enjoy yourself? I'm actually fun if you give me a chance." Brian said.

She nodded. Yeah, right. As if that was going to happen. The only person she had ever been truly interested in wanted her on this date. So she was. She never agreed to pay attention or even participate. Hell, she hadn't agreed at all. She had run into a pole.

"Okay. Then what do you say to getting out of here?"

She nodded again. In a whatever kind of way.

Brian was right. There was no reason why she had to be thinking about Sam when a perfectly okay guy was paying for an evening of her time. She could enjoy herself.

Or maybe she couldn't. Sam's eyes were flashing in her head, smiling and worried all at the same time. Then her lips. Those luscious, tasty lips. Why did she keep kissing her? And why were they avoiding talking about it?

And why couldn't she think about something else? Anything else would do. Instead of her. Instead of the effects she had on her. Baseball! She could think about baseball. Only she wasn't fond of sports. Especially those that involved objects being launched at her. So forget baseball.

Those lips always had a different taste to them, due to Sam's habit to devour everything around her. And when those lips pressed against Carly's… Her whole body heated and sent waves of something coursing through her. She couldn't name it, having never felt it before. And already she was craving it. That feeling. Those lips.

And she was doing it again. Thinking about her. If Sam had wanted her to be the one on her mind, she wouldn't have sent her on this ridiculous date. Especially with a guy.

And gasp! Out loud too. A guy? What difference did that make? She'd never had that kind of thought before. Had she been expecting a girl? Certainly not. She wasn't gay. No. Maybe. Perhaps?

Okay, so there was a possibility. She could admit to that. And-

"Are you okay? You've been spacing since we left the restaurant." Brian. He was still with her.

Carly looked around, realizing they weren't in the restaurant anymore and wondering how she'd missed that. They were on the sidewalk, heading down one of the many sloping hills of Seattle.

"Where are we going?" Carly asked.

"The art museum. Sam said your brother is an artist so I thought that might be something you'd like." Brian grinned.

Carly inwardly cringed as the large black sculpture in front of the art museum came into view. She stared up at its slightly more alien than human, or maybe even robotic, shape and attempted a smile.

"Great."

Sam had been there the first time she had been to the art museum with Spencer. They had gone from room to room giggling at the paintings and items and sculptures as if they were funny. Later on Carly had learned to appreciate them. Sam never had and to this day laughed at them.

"Do you wanna go inside or what?" Brian again. Didn't this guy have something better to do?

"Actually, maybe we could just walk down to the pier? Its such a pretty night." Carly suggested.

Brian glanced almost longingly at the museum before nodding. "If you want to."

"I do."

"Okay, then."

"Okay." To say the least, she was feeling a little argumentative.

They continued down the hill toward the pier.

"So tell me about Carly." Brian broke the silence yet again.

"There's not much to know." She shrugged.

"Well, you have iCarly. And there'd have to be quite a bit of stuff to know to keep that going." He prompted.

"Not really. Freddie, Sam and I come up with the ideas. Its not all me." She said in a monotone.

"But you do come up with some of it."

"I guess."

"Come on, Carly. Give me something to work with. All I know is you're Sam's best friend, a co-host on iCarly, and go to the same school as me." Brian pleaded.

"Look. Brian. I'm going to be completely honest with you. I don't want to be here. Sam didn't give me an option. She's still at my loft now, in fact, probably to make sure I don't come back to soon." She stared him blankly in the eye. "Its not you. Well, maybe it's a little you, but it's probably mostly me. You seem like a cool guy. Or I'm sure you would if I wanted to be here. But I don't."

Brian stopped her from walking, holding her shoulders so she wouldn't break eye contact. "Who do you want to be here with?"

Her mouth opened, but no words came out. Then it closed. And opened again. "I don't know."

"Sure you do." He smiled lightly, understandingly. "You just don't want to share."

"I guess so." She shrugged.

"Do you want to talk about them?"

"No. "

"So you admit that there is someone?" He grinned triumphantly.

"I didn't say that." She shot back hastily.

"You said you didn't want to talk about them, meaning there is a 'them.'" They started walking again.

"So maybe there is someone. What difference does it make?" Her heart was pounding. Would he guess Sam? Not likely. But she couldn't talk about it. Or he probably would guess.

"Do you think this someone would be jealous if you started seeing someone else?"

A minute of silence passed. "I doubt it."

"But it's worth a shot, isn't it?"

"I don't know. I don't think so."

"Sure you do."

"No… I… I don't think it would make them jealous."

They made it the rest of the way to the pier in silence. The sun was setting and the moment would have been extremely romantic other different circumstances. As it was, she stood a couple feet away from him, staring at the water while he watched her.

"Can I kiss you?"

It was entirely out of the blue and his jaw dropped in shock. This was obviously not the vibe he had been getting from her.

"Yes! I mean, yeah. If you want to."

She took two steps and pressed her lips against his. A light kiss, not that she wanted it to go deeper. His lips were soft and warm and full against hers. She stayed there for a few minutes and stepped back.

And they stared at each other.

Minutes passed.

"Nothing?" He asked.

"Nothing." She repeated.

"Damn. I had high hopes, too."

She finally gave him a true smile. "Sorry."

"You want me to take you home?"

"Yeah."

"Should I even bother asking for a second date?"

"I'd love to."

And the shock went on.

Carly closed her front door gently behind her with a satisfying click. All the lights were out and Spencer was passed out on the couch.

Sam was probably upstairs asleep in her bed. Dreaming about Tyler. Damn.

She'd kissed him because she needed to know. So she didn't feel anything when she kissed Brian. That didn't actually rule out all guys. And Sam was the only girl she had ever kissed. So that left one thing to do.

She needed to kiss another girl.

Shit.


	4. Chapter 4

"You think I'm gay, don't you?"

She lounged across Brian's bed, resting her head in the palm of her hand. Her dark hair fell lightly around her face. Her brown eyes were wide with mixed emotions and severe confusion. Jeans and a t-shirt, casual.

Brian rolled his eyes.

He was also strewn across his bed, barely three inches from her, one hand playing with her hair, the other resting on her hip. Rain clattered against the window and laughter from the television below made silence impossible.

"Why would you think I think your gay?"

She shrugged, sitting up. "You never said him."

"What?"

"On our date you asked who 'they' were. Not who 'he' was."

He rolled his eyes again. "I didn't mean it like that. Its just… you know."

"No, I don't." She glared at him, standing.

"Carly, please! Just sit back down. I really didn't mean anything by it. If it's a him that just… If it's a him its just worse for me. It would be easier to think I'm competing with a girl rather than another dude." Brian stood too, walking towards her.

She froze, holding his eyes for a minute before whispering, "I have to go to the bathroom."

She was out the door and down the hall before she looked back.

He made her edgy. She didn't know why, she couldn't explain it. But he made her feel translucent, and she wasn't comfortable with him knowing about her feelings for Sam.

Sam. Where was she? Probably with Tyler. They'd hardly talked after her date. In fact, she'd sort of been avoiding her. Had Sam noticed? No. She told her first period she was spending the day with Tyler. So Carly hadn't hesitated accepting Brian's invite to his house.

Only now she was.

He was attractive, charming, sweet, funny, considerate. And she hated him for being those things. If only he was an asshole, then she could justify treating him badly and avoiding him. Instead it just made her feel guilty.

And hanging out with him didn't bring her any closer to answering the gay question. What if she really was? Carly had spent all that day at school looking at her fellow female classmates, trying to come up with possibilities. But no one had seemed like a sure thing. At least, no one had seemed like a sure thing that would keep their kiss entirely secret.

Carly banged her forehead against the wall, cursing the situation under her breath. This would be so much easier if she was into Brian. This would be so much easier if Sam didn't make her feel so much… So much passion. So much lust. So much heartache. So much everything that it was driving her insane. And avoiding her wasn't helping. Instead of taking her out of her mind, it was shoving her more in. What was Sam thinking? What was she doing? Did she realize she was being avoided?

"You look like you got issues."

She jumped. She couldn't help it.

Carly turned her head towards the couch to face the speaker. Curly dark hair, thick eyelashes, full lips. Smooth olive skin, deep emerald eyes. Long-sleeve navy shirt. Baggy black cargo pants.

Carly's heart fluttered.

"Hi."

The girl smiled. "Hello."

She stared at the girl for a few minutes. "Hi."

She laughed. "You must be Carly."

Carly felt herself nod, but spoke anyway. "Carly, yeah. That's me." Probably shouldn't have spoken.

"I'm Cameron."

Her head bobbed again and she willed her body back into her control. "Nice to meet you."

Cameron patted the seat next to her. "Come, tell me of your problems. Since you're dating my brother, you should probably get to know me anyway."

Carly sat down, uneasy from the top of her head to… well, China. "What makes you think I have problems?"

"You were banging your head against the wall. That's a clear sign of issues. Actually, it kinda yells it at you." Cameron giggled but quickly stopped. "Sorry."

Carly shook her head. "Its fine."

"So what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Lying isn't a great way to start a relationship."

"Neither is therapy."

Cameron smiled. "You know, I think I'm really gonna like you."

A smile was on her face before she could stop it. Jumping to her feet, Carly stuttered, "I should get back. Brian is probably worried about me by now."

Brian grinned ear to ear as soon as she entered his bedroom. "You came back."

She nodded. "I met your sister."

His eyes widened and he bowed his head. "So you're leaving?"

She frowned at him. "What?"

"No one stays with me after they meet her. She's… picky about the girls I date."

"She's picky?"  
"Well… forget it. Let's not talk about her. I'd rather hear about you." He licked his lips. "Or maybe find some things out for myself."

She hugged him. Not for any reason in particular, just a sudden impulse.

"That's a start." He whispered in her ear.

She pulled back, laughing. "I gotta go. I'll see you."

She was running down the street when everything set in. Tears were streaming down her face, hiccupping sobs mixing with laughter in her throat. She was sure she looked insane to passersby but she couldn't stop any of the emotions flowing through her. She needed Sam.

And then she was home. And Sam was sitting on her couch, watching some show.

"Hey you know your…" Sam jumped to her feet. "What the hell? What's wrong?"

All emotion fled except shock. "I thought you were gonna be with Tyler today."

"I was. And then I realized you were kind of avoiding me all day so I figured this is where I needed to be. Only you weren't home when I got here and there is no ham in your fridge."

Her brow furrowed as Carly tried to organize her thoughts. "I'm sorry?"

"Yeah… So where were you?" Sam asked, bobbing her hand for Carly to pop a squat next to her.

"At Brian's." She felt out of breath and a little faint. And, to be completely honest, she wasn't sure what was causing all of this emotion.

"Ooooo. So that was a success?" Sam's eyes lit with interest.

"Uhm… Sure."

"Not sure, give me details."

"There aren't any."

"Of course there are. So spill."

"There really aren't."

"Carly, come on. Don't hold out on me."

"I'm not."

"Just tell me."

"I can't."

"Sure you can."

"No, Sam, I can't! So just leave me alone! Go find someone else's fridge to steal ham from!"

She was crying again. Running up the stairs, bawling her eyes out. She felt ridiculous and immature. Why did she keep crying? She'd thought she'd had more self-control than this. Guess not.

She threw herself on her bed, punching her pillow over and over again, digging her teeth into her lip.

"This is stupid. Come on, Carly… So stupid." She muttered to herself. "This isn't you."

Her door creaked open and soft footsteps padded across the floor. "Carly?"

"Go away."

"Carly talk to me."

"And say what?"

"I don't know. Something that makes things seem normal. You haven't been acting like yourself." She felt Sam sit down next to her on the bed.

"I wonder why!" Carly sobbed.

"So do I."

And her tears dried up. Her head pounded, her throat was dry, her tongue hurt. But the tears were gone and so was the confusion. Sam had no idea what was going on. Here she was, going loco over being in love with her best friend while dating some guy and being very attracted to that guy's sister and for what? For nothing. Sam wasn't in the loop.

She rolled over, finally making eye contact with her best friend. Sam brushed her hair out of her face, wiping at the drying tears. "I hate it when you cry."

"Me too. My head is throbbing."

Sam smiled. Carly returned it.

"I'm sorry about this. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Sam shrugged. "Its cool. Just weird for you to be so emotional. I usually have no idea what you are feeling."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And I hate guessing. It involves thinking and we're not at school so that seems pointless."

"Since when do you think at school?"

"Since my best friend spent the day avoiding me."

She opened and closed her mouth.

"I wasn't avoiding you." Carly said in a small voice.

"Oh yeah?"

"Fine, so what if I was?"

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it does."

"Because… because you have me so confused. I feel like I don't know you anymore and I was only gone for one summer."

"What do you want to know?"

Why do you keep kissing me? That's what she wanted to know. But she would never, could never, ask. So, instead, she shrugged.

Sam laid down next to her, pressing their heads together. "You are getting stranger by the day."

"Sorry?"

"Nah. Don't be. You put up with most anything when you love somebody."

Her heart stopped. "You love me?"

"Duh. You're only my best friend, idiot."

"I love you too."

Sam rolled onto her side and smiled widely. "Good."

Then her lips were there, pressing gently. They were warm and sweet and tasted faintly of cherry Chapstick. But this time she wasn't pulling away. Her hand was on her jaw, urging her lips to part. And that was her tongue. She couldn't pull away, couldn't stop. Her tongue reached for hers and her senses went haywire. Their bodies were suddenly pressed together and her hand was tangling itself in Sam's hair.

And Sam still wasn't pulling back. Instead, her fingertips were scratching across her hip and up under her shirt, rubbing little circles, going higher. And Carly was almost numb with all the sensations flooding her system. Her shirt was steadily being edged up and she was all for it, pressing Sam's mouth tighter against her own, her taste filling her mouth and setting her body on fire.

"Carly? You home? I bought ham!"

Spencer was home. Downstairs. With the ham.

And Sam yanked herself back, breaking the kiss and jumping off the bed. Her face was red and she bounced on the balls of her feet. "Uhm, well, yeah. I gotta go. I'll just grab some ham on my way out and see you tomorrow okay? We'll walk to school tomorrow, okay? Yes. Uhm… bye."

Carly rolled back over, staring at the ceiling. Her lips tingled; her body ached in neglected places. Her heart pounded. Sam's flavor still lingered in her mouth. Ham smells were drifting up the stairs and she could here Spencer's laugh and yells of 'bye' before the front door slammed shut.

"I hate Mondays." She told her now silent room.


	5. Chapter 5

She felt guilty. She hated feeling guilty. But when she had got up that morning and looked out her bedroom window at the weakest sunny sky she had ever seen, she knew it would be a difficult day. And then her shower had had a new bottle of shampoo and conditioner, only making her feel even worse at her luck. Picking out her clothes had been terrible as Spencer had decided to do the laundry for the first time in his life so all of her clothes were washed and she could wear whatever she wanted. And then the box of Cheerios had been unopened along with the milk meaning she was getting the very first box of that cereal's life. Brushed her teeth with brand new toothbrush and toothpaste. The doorman wasn't a total dick to her on her way out. Her usual freak-out over unfinished or forgotten homework was unfounded when she found everything complete and packed away in her messenger bag. And Sam was leaning against a lamp post, looking like a rockstar in her tight black pants and band t-shirt.

It was just a shit day.

"Good morning, my dear Ms. Carly Shay." She greeted with an overly dramatic bow.

"What's gotten into you?" Carly asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Gees, personal question." Sam replied with a smile.

Carly blushed watermelon red. "I didn't mean-"

Sam laughed. "I know what you meant. I just had the thought 'insert perverted comment here' and had to act on it."

Carly nodded. "I see. Shall we head to school then?"

"I like your use of the word 'shall' so sure, let's go."

They weren't talking about it. Sam had walked with her to school everyday for the last four days and it had yet to be brought up. Sam seemed content with not talking about it. She wasn't. It was killing her. Every time she decided to give up on her, Sam would swoop in and kiss her, and then act like it never happened. And then Carly would just get more and more confused, but she lacked the guts to force Sam into a conversation about anything.

But this last kiss was so… steamy. And involved. And full of something… Mutual lust. It wasn't just her. Sam had been just as into it. And yet, it meant nothing to her, clearly. She was still dating Tyler. She was still spending every second she could with him. She was still not interested.

They talked all the way to school, but they didn't discuss anything anymore. They joked, sarcasm was involved, they made fun of ordinary things like breakfast sausage and the awkwardness of waffle-makers. And school stayed the same. Lockers, teachers, students in different stages of puberty trying to figure out who they were going to be today and possibly tomorrow.

And that's when Carly spotted her.

Cameron leaned delicately against a pillar, smiling and laughing with some boy. Carly's cheeks flushed and she forced herself to look away. Unfortunately, away meant Sam and that was just as bad if not worse.

Split second decisions really are never good. "I'll catch up with you later, okay?" Carly whispered to Sam and headed for Cameron.

And it was just her luck that at that exact second the boy decided to leave and Cameron was watching her approach.

"Well, you look better than you did Monday." Cameron smiled.

"I didn't realize you went to school with me." Carly stuttered. It was the first thing to pop into her head.

"Of course I do. How old did you think I was?"

Carly shrugged. "I wasn't sure. How old are you?"

Cameron smiled at her. "I just turned seventeen."

"When?"

"Monday."

"Oh." Carly dug her teeth into her lip, feeling a blush come on. "I'm sorry… About Monday, that is. I wasn't feeling like myself. "

"Really? Gasp! That wasn't obvious!"

Carly grinned. "Shut up. I didn't know Brian had siblings, so I was expecting to be alone when I was out there."

"Well, you weren't."

"Yeah, thanks. I know that now. Maybe next time you could speak up before I bang my head against the wall?"

"Maybe. Although, I kind of enjoyed watching you."

"That's sick."

"Yeah. It is. Aren't you forgetting something?"

Carly chewed her lip. "No?"

"You lie to me and ditch me on my birthday. Sounds to me like you owe me."

The bell rang.

"Uhm, sure. What would you like from me?"

"Dinner."

She was surprised, to say the least. "What?"

"I took over the cooking when mom died. Brian always complains about my food. I want you there to prove how yummy it is. Can you come over tonight?"

"Sure."

Cameron was grinning and staring. It made Carly's stomach flip. "Okay, I'll see you tonight, then."

It wasn't until Carly was standing outside the door that it hit her. "Was she flirting with me?!"

"I don't know, but your blocking the door and the late bell is about to ring." She jumped and looked at the tall kid standing behind her.

"Oh… sorry." And went into class.

The guilt really hit her at 4:48 that afternoon while she was standing in front of the door to Brian's apartment. Was she there for Brian or for Cameron? Which one did she want to see more? How sick was it that she was dating a guy when she'd prefer to be with his sister?

No. No, no, no. Not prefer. She just wasn't interested in Brian. It had nothing to do with Cameron, right? Nothing. Nothing at all. Fuck!

It had everything to do with Cameron and she knew it. Originally she had only been spending more time with Brian so she could justify spending less time with Sam and now she was using the guy even worse than before. Oy.

"I'm going to hell for this." She told the fading green paint on the door.

She wasn't ready to knock, but she was feeling like an idiot standing in the hall, so she knocked anyway.

The door immediately opened to a naked Brian with only a towel to cover up the goods. He grinned at her sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair.

"Oh. I thought you were coming over at six. Cameron went to the store. I just assumed she forgot her key. I would never just have just gotten naked in the hopes you might-" he gestured between them- "want to explore the depths of our relationship. So I didn't just shower so I could answer the door in a towel. But if you happen to like that I could try to more often and, just to be honest-"

Her laugh cut him off. She shoved him backwards into the apartment and shut the door behind them. "It's okay. Really. I understand. You don't have to explain yourself."

Only shoving him backwards wasn't such a good idea since he fell backwards, tripping over the coat rack, and there went the towel and it just so happened that the door opened to reveal his sister arriving home at exactly the same time and for some reason Carly wanted to look at her more than she wanted to ogle her boyfriend's junk. Her eyes flashed back and forth as she tried to force herself to look at Brian when Cameron looked so… breathtaking. She carried a paper bag packed full of groceries, she was fully dressed behind the bag, but Carly didn't need to see her naked to feel that forsaken ache down _there_.

And Cameron wasn't even returning the stare, but trying to get into the kitchen around them, not drop the groceries, not to laugh at her brother, and yell at him to go put clothes on simultaneously. Over it all, however, she managed to cough out a hello before disappearing. Only then was Carly's focus able to return to Brian and he was covered back up by then. He was back on his feet, holding his towel tightly to himself.

Then she was alone in the hallway, stepping forward to watch Cameron unload the paper bag. And there it was, that pull so low in the pit of her stomach. That need for something she wasn't even sure in her head she wanted.

She fast-walked down the hall to Brian's room and threw open the door. He stood there in his boxers, his mouth falling open when she entered. Striding right up to him, Carly pressed her lips to his. And then his tongue was in her mouth and it didn't feel bad but it just wasn't the right feeling. She regretted the kiss as soon as she broke it and headed back into the hall and on into the kitchen. The ache was gone from Cameron, but she felt another wave of guilt from using him so ruthlessly yet again.

And there was Cameron, bending over the oven, her long hair piled high on her head, her lithe body squatting down to look inside and set the temperature. And shit. The ache crept back up and she dug her nails into her palms to keep herself from crossing the room and acting on impulse. And that stupid question was drifting back. Had Cameron been flirting with her that morning? Would she be okay with Carly's attraction to her? Would she… would she want to kiss her?

"Yes."

Carly broke away from her, well what would be an aside if she were in a play, to focus in on Cameron. "Yes?"

"Yes, my brother was expecting me and not in a towel for your benefit. Wasn't that what you were thinking about?" Cameron straightened and took a few steps towards her.

"No, actually." Carly replied honestly.

"Well, I hope 'yes' was the response you were going for with whatever you were thinking about." Cameron smiled.

Carly couldn't help the blush that climbed up her skin. "Believe me, it was."

And then her cell phone rang.

"Carly?"

"Sam." Carly swallowed hard.

"Carly can I spend the night with you tonight? I could really use my best friend right now." Sam was crying. She could hear it in her voice.

"Why? I mean, of course you can. What happened?"

"Tyler and I broke up."

She felt numb, even as she splashed water over her face in the bathroom sink. No flood of emotion. Nothing. Just the drip of water sliding off her face to drop back into the sink. But she did jump at the gentle knock on the door.

"Carly? Is everything alright?" Cameron.

"Yeah- yes. Everything is fine. I'll be out in a minute."

But Cameron came in instead and pulled her into a hug. "I thought someone had died when you got off your cell, you turned so white."

"I don't seem to have a lot of control over my emotions lately." Carly admitted, hating how much she was enjoying the hug.

"What happened?"

"Personal issues." The words were out of her mouth before she could think.

"Anything I can do to help?"

_You can kiss me_. The words were in her head, the idea pulsing behind her eyes.

"Nothing that wouldn't end up with you hating me."

"I won't hate you. Let me help."

Carly pulled back, her eyes serious as she stared into Cameron's.

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes."

And then she was kissing her. Nothing small and new like a first kiss should be: short and sweet. Tender. No, this was so much more. Deep and probing and sending those jolts to every synapse she possessed. Colors exploded behind her eyes. And Cameron wasn't responding all that much, but she wasn't pushing her away either, so it couldn't be that bad.

Then Sam's face passed through her head and she ripped herself back out of the kiss.

"I'm gay." The words were out before her brain could catch up and Cameron was panting and leaning against the sink, but her eyes were wide with shock. "Sorry about dinner. I'll make it up to you if you'll still talk to me after that. I gotta go. Sam needs me."

And she was out the door, pounding the pavement as if any more time away from Sam would eat away her heart. And maybe it would.

Sam was in the hallway, tears streaming down her face. And she collapsed into Carly's arms as soon as the elevator doors opened.

And there were those amazing feelings. Those suppressed needs. Her body temperature rose and Sam pressed so tightly against her was doing amazing things to those more sensitive parts. And there was nothing she could do. But why did she actually have to do something at all? Tyler was out of the picture now.

"Tell me you love me, Carly." Sam whimpered in her ear.

"I love you, Sam."

"I love you too."

At that moment, everything felt right. In about sixty seconds, the rest of the evening would flood back into her mind and she'd realize just how much was wrong. And that damn guilt from that stupid, weak sunny sky would come back. All the stress and confusion and new discoveries. And Cameron! She had kissed Cameron! After kissing Brian, too!

Her life had never been this complicated. And she hated it. Absolutely hated it. She held Sam tighter against herself and began to cry with her.

Oy.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm done."

Carly turned around to face her love and frowned. "You finished all that ham already? It's been like thirty seconds."

"No, of course not. I'm savoring the ham. I'm done with boys." Sam nodded. Her eyes were still puffy from cry, but a hot shower had washed away the smeared makeup and left her dressed in a pair of Carly's sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Carly sighed. "No you're not. You know you're not."

"I am this time, Tyler was it. No more." Sam bobbed her head decidedly.

"Why did he break up with you?" Her curiosity was getting the better of her. Normally she wouldn't have asked such a forward question, but it had been a weird day anyway.

"He was seeing someone else." The tears were rising in her eyes again. "He said I was pretty and all, but they really connect. Guess she puts out."

Carly choked on a sip of water and quickly put the glass back down. "What?"

"What?" Sam repeated.

"Nothing." Carly squeaked out hastily. "I just thought you and Tyler were, you know…" She actually hadn't thought about that aspect of Sam's relationship at all. And now that she did, it frustrated the hell out of her. How could she want to be with that… that douche?

But Sam shook her head. "No, not yet. Now never because of that asshole!" She bashed herself in the head with the pillow in her own angst and then devoured a slice of ham for good measure. "I told him I wasn't ready just yet but I would. But I guess I'm not good enough for that bastard!"

"Sam, you're perfect." The words were out and she couldn't take them back no matter how much she wanted to.

And Sam was smiling at her in that way she had reserved for Tyler and Tyler alone. It was a slow, toothy grin that lit up her eyes and made them sparkle. "What did I do to deserve you?"

Carly shrugged in an embarrassed kind of way and swung her legs back and forth. "I don't know." She felt… bashful. Which made her feel kind of stupid too.

Sam had that look on her face again. That look that she always got before she kissed her. Carly's heartbeat sped up. Sam looked like she was getting ready to glide across the room to her; the plate of ham was place on the bed.

And then her cell phone rang. And Sam picked up the plate of ham again. With a sigh, Carly flipped her phone open.

"Hello?"

"We need to talk."

Cameron. It was Cameron. There was no denying that silky voice. Even though it sounded frustrated.

"About?" Carly stuttered out.

"You kissed me."

Carly covered the mouthpiece. "I'm gonna take this in the hall." She told Sam.

Sam ate ham.

Out in the hall, Carly tried to slow her heart back to normal, leaning against the wall.

"I said you would hate me if I let you help." She finally said.

"How did kissing me help you?" Cameron didn't sound all that angry anymore. More curious and slightly annoyed.

"I needed… answers."

"You needed answers? Is that really the excuse you're going to use?" And anger was beginning to slip into her voice.

"Fine!" And now Carly was yelling. "I just wanted to, okay? You just felt so incredible and I…" Her voice began to fade. "I couldn't stop myself even though I was pretty sure this was going to happen afterwards. I mean, I've only seen you like three times. But… never mind."

There was silence on the other end for a couple minutes, giving Carly time to regain her composure.

"So you're gay?" Cameron's voice was shaky. "Than why are you dating my brother?"

"My best friend wants me to. And I wasn't entirely sure. But then I kissed you and…" Carly shrugged her shoulders despite being on the phone. "And now I'm sure."

"So you're going to brake up with him then?"

That was the question, wasn't it? Seems kind of awkward to date someone after you made out with their sister in the bathroom.

On the other hand, dating Brian was a good cover so Sam would stay in the dark.

"I don't know." She finally answered, shrugging yet again.

And then Sam was standing in front of her, staring at her. "You're still on the phone." Sam whispered, leaning in close.

All Carly could do was maintain eye contact. Thoughts were quickly fleeing her head; the phone was beginning to feel more like a state of mind rather than an actual real object. But there was Cameron's voice in her ear. And she tried desperately to focus on it, but Sam wasn't pulling away and her hips were now pressed firmly against her own and wow. She held Carly's free hand with both of her own, tracing the lines of her hand with her thumbs.

"Carly? Are you still there?" Cameron. Still on the phone, right.

"Yeah…" Maybe that single word could have contained a little less horniness, but it hadn't and Carly couldn't pull it back out now.

"I think we should talk—in person. Are you free for lunch tomorrow?"

"Sure." Her voice was shaky.

The conversation ended only slightly abruptly there when Sam pulled the phone out of her grasp and shut it with a deafening click.

"Was that important?"

Carly tried to shrug, but didn't quite manage. "Kind of."

Sam grinned and pulled away. "Sorry. I just… I don't know." With that, she headed down the stairs, flicking lights on. "I'm out of ham, let's watch a movie. Spencer's not coming home tonight, right? So we can turn the volume up?"

Carly trailed after her, trying to slow her heartbeat. "Only if you want to evoke the wrath of Freddie's mom."

"Yeesh." Was Sam's only response.

And she had to smile because that was so Sam and nothing made her smile like Sam.

"But Spencer won't be home, so have at the ham. In fact, just bring it all out. He won't notice until tomorrow and then it will be to late to get mad." Carly plopped onto the couch and flipped rapidly through the channels before declaring, "There's nothing on."

Sam laughed as she came into the room, the plate of ham shrinking quickly. "Well maybe if you slow down a little. You haven't even stopped clicking."

Carly gave the remote a rest. "What do you feel like? Comedy? Romance? Horror?"

Sam dropped down next to her on the couch. "Why can't it be all three?"

Carly bobbed her shoulders. "Its not as funny when they try to make horror into comedy. Much funnier to watch a suck-ish scary movie."

"But then everyone just gets naked and fucks, there's no romance." Sam sighed.

Carly giggled. "Since when are you a fan of romance?"

"Since I realized how much my love life lacks it. How sad is that? Date a guy for a month and a half and I didn't get a single romantic date out of it." She looked like she might start crying again, so Carly focused in on a channel.

"Forget about him. Tonight it's just you, me, and the ham."

Sam grinned. "Okay."

Morning came much too soon for Carly. She couldn't remember the last time her and Sam had simply hung out. No expectations, no tension. Just two people who had been best friends for so many years enjoying each other's company. But halfway through the movie her eyes had started to close and her brain had stopped functioning. Or started, depending on your point of view.

Waking up wrapped up in Sam was different. Not that it had never happened, in the hundreds of times Sam had spent the night over the years, she had woken up entangled in Sam a multitude of times. But this time, it felt different. This wasn't just her best friend anymore. It was the girl who made her heart race, the one who drove her crazy, the one who kept kissing her. The girl who kept pulling away afterwards. The girl who was sending her so many freaking mixed signals!

And Sam was still asleep. Her head was tucked under Carly's chin, her arms curling around her ribs. Their legs were laced together, their hands joined. But Sam's heart was slow and steady while Carly's was quickly picking up speed. She didn't know why her body kept doing this to her, but it was getting old.

Carly removed herself from the couch with some very advanced acrobatic work, leaving Sam and the empty plate of ham on the couch. Deep breaths, finger stretches. Not working. Up the stairs and into the bathroom. Naked. In the shower. Shampoo is a very soothing thing. Or maybe just soap in general? Anyhow, she felt better when she toweled herself off and threw on some clothes. She felt normal again. She felt like Carly again.

Sam was awake when she got back downstairs.

"Been up long?" Sam asked, rubbing her eyes and setting the plate aside. "I feel hungover."

"That's why crying sucks."

"No shit. Next time, let's just actually get drunk so I have a reason for such a headache?" Even though Sam asked, it wasn't a serious request. Carly would never drink and they both new it. Forever a good girl.

"Sure thing. You can go shower if you want and I'll make some breakfast." She pulled a carton of eggs out of the refrigerator along with milk and cinnamon. "How does French toast sound?"

"Like heaven!" Sam exclaimed before yawning. "Shower sounds good too." And she headed upstairs.

Saturdays were normally nice days, fun days, relaxing days. This was doom's day. Sam wanted her attention, Cameron wanted to have lunch to "talk", and what the hell was she going to do about Brian?

A smile slipped onto her face despite her mood. She had slept with Sam.

Giggle.


	7. Chapter 7

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Why?"

"Oh, I don't know Carly… Maybe because you kissed me!"

"Keep your voice down!"

Even as she hushed Cameron, it was already too late. They'd been drawing attention to themselves since the moment they had entered Groovy Smoothie. The tension hung over them like a cloud.

It was Saturday. Carly had snuck out while Sam was in the shower after fixing her breakfast. Sticking around just hadn't felt like an option. Meeting Cameron hadn't felt like a great alternative, but she had drawn her into the madness, so standing her up was just too mean.

But Carly couldn't think. Sun was filtering through the window and bringing out the red and gold highlights in Cameron's hair and putting an incredible shine in her eyes. And that shirt she was wearing. Sure it looked conservative with its high neck and long sleeves, but it was just screaming at her to find out what was being hidden underneath it.

And why was she having these thoughts? Her admitting her gay-ness was a little too freeing, apparently. Now she couldn't clog the flow of dirty thoughts.

"You're dating my brother." Cameron pointed out for the millionth time in the ten minutes they had been in the Groovy Smoothie.

"I know."

"So why would you kiss me?"

"I already told you."

"But you can't be-" Cameron lowered her voice- "Gay… Why would you agree to date my brother if you were?"

"Because I'm really messed up." It felt like the most honest thing she had said in a long time.

"So you're interested in me?"

Carly shrugged.

"You said that it helped."

Cameron no longer looked angry, but more curious. Her head was tilted and she was neglecting her smoothie almost deliberately. Which was a shame. It was a dynamite smoothie.

"I needed to know for sure. And…" Carly twiddled her thumbs. "You're hot."

Cameron bit her lip. A few minutes passed of mere nervous eye contact. "Break up with Brian."

"Why?" It was sputtered and loud. And probably looked obnoxious with a bit of her smoothie being sprayed out of her mouth.

"Because you're gay. And he's a boy." Cameron said it as if Carly was slow.

"I know that." She rolled her eyes. "But Brian makes the rest of my life seem a little less crazy."

"I can't believe how okay you are with using my brother!" Cameron exclaimed.

"Believe me, I am not okay with it. I just can't break up with him until I'm over her." And gasp. She hadn't meant to say that.

Cameron's eyes zeroed in on her and squinted in interest. "Who's her?"

Carly sighed, suddenly feeling very drained. "It doesn't matter. She's straight."

"Well, so am I, but I'm here."

What did that mean? Carly wasn't sure whether she was supposed to blush or to return the smile she was being given or, or what?

"What are you saying?" Very good, Carly congratulated herself. A direct question.

"I'm saying you are only straight until… well, until you aren't anymore." Cameron laughed. "Wow, that didn't make sense in my head. Look, even if she's straight, she might make an exception for you is all I'm saying." Cameron shrugged and finally gave her smoothie some attention.

Carly thought about that, but ultimately discarded the idea. Sam wasn't going to make an exception. Even with Tyler out of the picture. She would just go find some other guy.

"I guess I should break up with Brian."

"Yes, you should."

"Being single could be good for me."

"Or dating another girl."

"Yeah, or dating another—what?" Carly was suddenly very much out of her seat and staring down at Cameron intensely. But she soon lowered back down and got herself under control. "Is that why you're here?" Her voice was shaky and lacked any confidence, but she got the words out and that was what was important.

Cameron shrugged. "I've never been with a girl before, but I felt something when you kissed me. Something I've never felt before and I want to explore it further if you're game."

Stunned silence. And then, "Is that why you want me to break up with Brian?"

Cameron's eyes widened. "God, no. Of course not. That's… wrong. I want you to break up with him because you aren't interested in boys and he deserves a girl that is."

"And you want me to date you instead?"

Cameron smiled and shrugged and nodded at the same time.

"Did you miss the part when I said I'm in love with this girl?" Carly shook her head as she asked the question, attempting to show just how astounded she was.

"No, I heard. I didn't say I wanted to spend my life with you or even have a serious relationship with you. I just want to do a little more… investigating." Cameron finished her smoothie and refocused all of her attention on Carly.

"Oh," was all the reply she could force out.

And then her cell phone was ringing.

It was Sam.

She held up a finger and took a few steps to the door and stepped out.

"What's up?" She sighed into the phone, partly from relief, partly from the unresolved issues that floated around her head whenever she talked to Sam.

"Where are you?"

"At Groovy Smoothie." No point in lying.

"I thought you and I were going to spend the day together."

"I'll be back soon."

"Hurry?" For the first time in her memory, Sam sounded desperate. Painfully so.

Carly slipped back inside and over to Cameron. "Okay."

Cameron frowned as she looked up at her. "Okay?"

"I'll break up with Brian and you and I will… investigate."

Cameron grinned evilly at her. "Fantastic. Why don't you come to my place tomorrow?"

"Or you could come to mine?" Uh oh. Not a good idea. What if Sam was still there? Oh well. The words were already out there. She couldn't take them back now.

Cameron's grin widened. "Okay."

They were standing in front of her building when Cameron kissed her. She wasn't expecting it; she didn't know what she was supposed to do once Cameron's lips were there. Sam was upstairs. What if she was watching? But it was a brief kiss, and Cameron pulled back fairly quickly.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Make sure you break up with Brian tonight. He said he was going to come by here later."

She wasn't sure why her heart was beating so fast. It could be the several flights of stairs she had just run up. It could be the kiss from Cameron. Or it could be the fact that on the other side of the door was Sam. And she had her complete attention tonight. But before she could turn the knob and find out, Freddie appeared next to her.

"Can we talk?"

She sighed. "Okay."

They went into the stairwell to have some privacy from Freddie's mom. Carly actually relaxed a little in Freddie's presence. He wasn't forceful or nosy or obnoxious. If she needed to talk, he was all ears. If she needed anything, he was there.

"What's been going on with you? You've seemed off lately." He looked concerned. People had been giving her that look a lot lately.

"Nothing's going on." Okay, flat out lie and he could probably tell, but she didn't know how to explain it. It was just too involved, too complicated.

"What's up with you and Sam? You guys act awkward around each other."

"I know."

"So what happened?"

"Nothing happened. I guess spending the summer away from each other just warped our relationship."

Freddie didn't believe her. She could tell. But he didn't say anything. He just stood up, helped her up, and walked her back to her loft.

"If you ever need anything…" And he disappeared back into his apartment.

Sam was crying when she walked in the door. And then they were in an instant hug.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying again?" She felt like crying too just watching her beloved bawl.

"Its all over!" Sam was holding on so tightly. She could feel her everywhere. And it wasn't making focusing very easy.

"Sam, he doesn't deserve anymore of your tears." She needed to be the best friend now, but how could she possibly do that when Sam's body was touching all of _those_ spots.

"Not Tyler." It was mumbled and stuttered, but Carly still heard it.

"What then?"

Sam pulled back, wiping at her eyes and giving a small smile. She looked like she felt stupid. "The ham is gone."

And Carly laughed. Normally she tried to be as sensitive as possible to Sam's crises despite her own feelings, but she couldn't not laugh when the source of pain was a lack of pig. Sam was chuckling too, though, and her eyes were steadily drying up.

"Sorry, I've just been crying so much the last couple days that it was my instant reaction." Sam blushed, obviously embarrassed.

Carly sighed. "Its fine. I'm actually relieved. I was expecting the worst, so ham is much better. I'm just glad it didn't have anything to do with Tyler."

"No! Of course not! Didn't you hear me? I'm through with boys! I meant every word! From now on, it's all about Sam and her bestest buddy Carly. Crying over him still would seem to contradict the plan." Sam was staring at her skeptically and Carly wasn't sure what to say.

"Great?"

"Of course great! Go on, Carly. Get excited." Sam was all smiles now, not even a hint of the tears that had flowed down her face only a minute or two earlier.

"Okay, I'm excited." Carly submitted.

"No your not. That isn't excitement, that's boredom." And then she grinned and Carly's stomach tumbled out of her body. "Here, let me help."

And she was tight against the door, her arms full of Sam. Those lips, those amazing lips, were pressed so tightly against her own. And that tongue, that tongue made her head go hazy. Delirious. That was a good word. Delirious. Sam's fingers were setting her skin on fire just under the hem of her shirt and Carly couldn't breathe. It was so much, so much all at once. She could feel her own hands stumbling cautiously up Sam's arms and onto that neck. Up on into her luscious blonde hair.

Down, suddenly, though. What was she doing? Her hands were fisting and unclenching at a rapid rate at her sides and Sam wasn't noticing. So maybe this was okay? Maybe she wasn't overstepping the boundaries? But who knew where the boundaries were anymore? Sam kept moving them.

Her eyes were sealed shut in fear of losing that feeling if she opened them. Sam's mouth left hers and fear immediately set in. But her body wasn't going anywhere and those lips were only gone to slip lower onto her jugular vein. And shit. She moaned. She could hear the sound come out of her throat but hell: she hadn't meant to make it. Only this was Sam. Her Sam. Her best friend. And the only person in the world who made her heart pound like this.

Sam was lacing their fingers together and she couldn't object as her hand was raised over her head and pressed into the door. And Sam's lips were back on her own, where they had to belong otherwise why else would they feel this necessary? So soft and plush and _needy._ But oh. Wow.

Her insides were heated up and Sam had done exactly what she said she would: Carly was most definitely excited. And her fingers were sneaking up under her shirt and rubbing everywhere. Spots that had never seemed neglected before, felt that way now and it was all she could not to fall into her own bliss.

And then it was all gone.

Sam pulled away and yanked her away from the door and was out it before Carly's head could clear. No goodbye, no words at all. Nothing.

Carly took several steps backwards and dropped onto the couch. She lay there for several minutes before Spencer walked in.

"What's up little sister?"

"I'm so beyond confused that I might actually be dying inside." Carly replied.

"Bummer."


	8. Chapter 8

The microwave had just beeped, or chirped really since Spencer had messed with it, alerting her to the ready state of her popcorn, when the knock sounded on the door. She was dressed comfortably in sweatpants and one of Spencer's t-shirts that no longer fit him. An old, classical movie wailed through the television speakers. Spencer was out, gathering supplies for his sculptures, probably neglecting the shopping list of food she had given him.

She didn't really want to answer the door. She knew who it was and what they wanted. And she had just gotten comfy! Why did someone want to disrupt her peace? Obviously she was being punished for some heinous crime in a past life.

With the heaviest of sighs, Carly turned away from her popcorn and movie and potentially stress and worry-free evening to let Brian into her loft.

"Hi."

He didn't look all that thrilled to be standing just outside of her door and gave a very heavy-hearted sigh before crossing the threshold.

"What's wrong with you?" It sounded rude to her own ears as she shut the door behind him, but the response had been without her consent.

He shrugged. "Obviously something since you kissed my sister."

The microwave chirped again. But she was in too much shock to take notice of it or even think to do anything about it. Why was he saying that? How did he know? Did Cameron tell him?

Brian wasn't continuing. He just stood there, eyeing her, waiting for an answer. But one wasn't coming. There was nothing she could say. Her mouth opened and closed several times, a blush crept up her cheeks. That was it. There was no denying it, no going around it. He hadn't asked, he'd made a statement.

"I don't know what you want me to say." She shrugged, shaking to her very core. But why? She'd only known him, what? A week? A little over a week? Being a teenager was way too stressful.

"I don't either. She said that you had as soon as she got home today. She said you were gay and she was sorry. She said she told you to break up with me but she wasn't sure you could really go through with it." Brian moistened his lips. "Its true, isn't it?"

Carly nodded. She couldn't lie to him. Not after everything she had already done to betray his trust.

He nodded too. "I thought so."

And he smiled. The freak actually grinned. And went to retrieve the popcorn. And plopped down on her couch?

"Well?" He asked after a few minutes. "Are you gonna just stand there looking like someone shattered your favorite vase or join me?"

She sat. Uneasy as all hell. "So?" She finally garbled out.

"So?" He repeated.

"Does this mean we're over?"

And he kissed her. Right then and there, he leaned over and pressed his lips lightly against hers.

"Nope." He said, returning to him position.

Again, dumbstruck.

"You aren't going to break up with me?"

"Nope."

"And you don't think I should break up with you?"

"Nope."

"Why the hell not?!" Her flustered question sounded a lot whinier than she would have liked, but that's the price of emotion.

"Because I still want to be with you." He shrugged, looking without a care in the world.

"But I'm gay." Rational. Yes, very rational.

"I got that."

"I kissed your sister."

"So I've heard."

"Twice."

"Yes."

"I probably will again."

"Cool."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He finally looked startled at her yelled question.

He reached over and took her hand. "Can you try to relax?" A slow smile eased onto his face as she took several deep breaths. "Much better."

Her voice was back at its normal tone when she asked, "Can you try to explain your thought process to me?"

He bobbed a shoulder. "You love me."

Her jaw dropped. "What?"

"You don't realize it, but I've been the only stable part of your life, from what I can see. And that has made you fall for me. I'm a security blanket. You aren't in love with me, but you do love me." He turned his head to make total eye contact. "And that I can work with."

"Did you miss the whole I'm gay thing?" Carly was in total disbelief.

"No, I heard you. My sister said you are in love with a girl. Falling in love with a girl doesn't make you gay."

"I feel nothing when I'm touched by guys!" She exclaimed.

He bobbed a shoulder again. "That doesn't mean you never will. My sister is straight, but she said she felt something when you kissed her. If a hetero can go gay for someone, a gay can go hetero for someone, right?"

Carly dug her teeth into her lip. "In theory, I guess anything is possible, but that is never going to happen here."

"Maybe not."

"Definitely not!"

"You can never be sure."

"I'm absolutely sure."

"How can it be absolute?"

"Because I'm in love with Sam!" She hadn't meant to say it, but it was out there now.

Both of their faces were red. Carly was shaking. Brian was stunned.

"Really?" The question came several minutes after her declaration, but she still hadn't reclaimed her voice.

So she nodded.

And he slipped back into being Brian again, shrugging a shoulder. "You fell in love with your best friend. That isn't so uncommon, you know. Not every girl who falls in love with her best friend is gay."

"But I am."

They stared at each other for several minutes before he sighed.

"Do you really want to break up with me?"

It was her turn to shrug. "For you, yes."

"Don't you dare break up with me for me."

Her voice was shrinking as she said, "Why don't you want to break up with me after all you've learned tonight?"

He gave her a small, sad smile. "I just can't. Part of me is praying for you to look at me in a different light and part of me wants it to end. I just really like you and that's odd for me, you know? I've dated a lot, but usually on an appearance thing. I actually like you, personality and all."

"I don't see how this relationship could ever be considered anything close to healthy." Carly returned the smile, her eyes averting to the television.

"I do."

"How?"

"Don't kiss my sister or any other girl. Stop thinking about Sam in that way. Focus on me." The look on his face was one of desperation.

She sighed. "It just isn't that easy, Brian. I can never see your sister again, but I'll still be attracted to girls. I can't not think about Sam, she's my best friend, and the only way I can view her is in that light."

He straightened up, suddenly very serious. "Let me spend the night."

Her eyebrows got lost somewhere in her hairline. "What?"

"I'm not talking about having sex or anything, unless you want to, but let me spend the night. Spend the next several hours getting to know me. Don't fall in love based on gender. Just fall in love with me for me."

"Brian… it just doesn't work like that. No matter how much I like your personality, I will never be attracted to you physically." Carly felt suddenly exhausted.

"Please?" His eyes were big and staring at her. "Just give me one shot."

She caved. "Fine."

He literally leaped across the couch to hug her and plant a kiss on her cheek. "You won't regret this. I promise. Unless," His face scrunched in uneasiness, "Where are your parents?"

"Oh," Carly smiled. "Actually, I live with my brother and he'll be back tomorrow. He left the city to go to a special art supplies store for his next sculpture."

Brian let out the breath he was holding. "Thank god. I was starting to freak out there for a minute. Sam isn't coming over or anything, right?"

Carly shrugged. "She left a few hours ago without a word. I don't know what she's doing."

"She broke up with Tyler." Brian grinned at her, like he was telling her some big secret.

And it was. "What? I thought he broke up with her?"

"Nope. He didn't tell me any of the particulars, just that she had dumped him an hour after school because she wasn't into him. Than he had to go to work so that's all I got." Brian looked on the verge of schoolgirl giggles at his piece of gossip.

Why would she lie to me? Was all Carly could think. All the tears, spending the night, the giving up boys, the story of being cheated on, all lies? Why?

"But that doesn't fit!" Carly exclaimed, her eyes wide. "It couldn't be. You're lying."

Brian was offended. "Am not! I'm just telling you what Tyler told me. And why would Tyler lie to me?"

"I-I…" Her voice was failing her. "I don't know." It was a whisper, but he definitely heard. And now he was very uneasy being there, squirming in his seat and shifting his gaze.

"Maybe staying the night isn't a good idea."

And he left.


	9. Chapter 9

It's Monday. Afternoon. Sunny. And she hates it. She hates that she spent her Sunday pissed off and there was nothing she could do about it. She hates that Sam lied to her and kissed her with so much passion on Saturday and then showed up that morning acting as if nothing had transpired between them that weekend.

She'd always been an optimist up to this point in her life. Seeing the best in Sam, enough to become best friends with her. Thinking enough of her parents to let them leave her so willingly. The faith she has in Spencer. But no more! She couldn't handle the stress! People were fucking failing her and she didn't want to deal with it anymore. If only she had somewhere to disappear to for a while. Only, she'd already done that: off to grandpa's house for the summer. And all it had done was put her in this fucking suck-ass predicament!

Did anger issues always come with losing optimism?

And while she's having a meltdown inside, Sam is sitting next to her all smiles and hyper since the lunch bell is going to ring any moment. Her blond hair is pulled back into a ponytail, a few loose curls dangling around her face. Her eyes are shining and filled with laughter as she texts maniacally under the desk. Every few minutes she slips her phone back into her pocket and grins at Carly.

The teacher, of course, is missing all of this. He's lecturing away at the front of the classroom as if Castro has any affect whatsoever on high school dynamics, not that he wouldn't try to prove he did if asked. And he's pointing dramatically to dates and situations and trying to force connections that will never last to last and people are spacing out again. Sam giggles softly, in the midst of it all, and glances over at Carly, giving her that secret look that she's developed recently and Carly can't stand.

And yet she adores that look. Its everything and all she needs to make her heart stop and her stomach flutter. Not that she would ever mention that or that she even kind of enjoyed it anymore. Every look at Sam just reminds her further of the suck-ish situation she's been forced into and that she hasn't figured out how to get out of it. Yet.

The bell rings.

Sam is out of her seat and heading out of the classroom with her bag over her shoulder and her phone in her hand and she's calling Carly to chase after her. But Carly is tired. And annoyed. And so fucking sick of letting Sam play with her that she isn't even sure she wants to get up anymore. Only her teacher is bustling over and humming to himself some random beats that Cuddlefish couldn't make flow.

So up she goes, trailing after Sam. And Sam is babbling and _damn_ does she sound sexy as her voice goes raspy near Carly's ear so she is sure she can hear her over the drone of hallway noise. And Carly wants to kill herself right then and there because she isn't sure how much more she can take. But she knows she will have to make some quick decisions about it as a dark-haired someone suddenly grabs her arm and drags her back in the opposite direction.

It wasn't until she was outside with Cameron smiling devilishly at her that she realized Sam followed.

"Carly?" Sam stared at her.

And she can't decide who she actually wants to speak to. But she knows she needs to speak soon. Things were going tense.

"Hello," she smiled, on the border of laughter since Sam and Cameron together scared the shit out of her.

Neither Cameron nor Sam looked the slightest bit amused at seeing the other there.

"Who's she?" Simultaneous. Carly almost wanted to say it with them.

And then the laughter did come, nervous laughter. Her face turned red, tears leaked out the corners of her eyes, and she threw her head back to give the sounds of joy an easier escape.

But she immediately stopped when she finally looked at their faces. She cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Cameron, this is Sam. Sam this is Cameron." Even on her deathbed she would do proper introduction.

Her best friend and her girlfriend gave each other nods of acknowledgement. Sam mutter a, "hi." Which Cameron returned.

The world was silent for two glorious minutes before Sam and Cameron began to talk at the same time. Carly didn't bother to even attempt to separate their voices to figure out what was being said. Instead, she put a finger in each corner of her mouth and tried to whistle. Only it didn't work. Because she didn't know how to whistle like that. It did, however, catch their attention, and silence once again befell the world.

"Okay," Carly began, "Cameron, you first." Sam looked as if she was about to protest, but Carly gave her a stern look. And nobody crosses Carly's stern looks.

Cameron was smiling in her victory of going first. "Why didn't you break up with Brian?" The victory feeling was obviously overshadowed by her anger.

Carly gave a nervous giggle and then turned to Sam. "And you?"

"Who is she and what does she have to do with you dating Brian?"

Carly considered both questions before abruptly discarding both. She was only human. And she had questions too.

"Why is it so important for me to break up with him? Why can't you ask him to break up with me? I did. And he refused!" She exclaimed at Cameron. Then she turned to Sam. "Why do you care who she is? Why do you care about my relationship with Brian? And why the fuck did you lie to me?"

Anger was flooding her system. She hadn't meant to yell at Sam. But here Sam was, asking questions, and why should she get answers when she didn't provide any of her own? Sam looked startled. Cameron definitely was. They both seemed ready to speak at the same time again so Carly was forced to use the power of her stern look once again.

"Cameron, you go first." Carly dictated.

"I did tell him to break up with you!" she yelled. And then in a quieter voice, "But he said he'd think about it. And he really likes you. Even with everything else."

Carly ran a hand through her hair. Mondays were the worst. "I did try to break up with him. He said no. He said I would fall in love with him in time." She turned to Sam. "Go ahead, Sam."

Only Sam looked hurt. Her eyes were wide, her lip quivered. Her hands were scratching together. "Of course I care, Carly. You're my best friend. I didn't lie to you."

Her heart wanted her to sprint to Sam and comfort away all the painful things going on in her head. The rest of her wanted to be angry. "The hell you didn't! You told me Tyler broke up with you! You said he cheated on you! I even let you spend the night and eat all the ham because of it!"

Sam bit her lip. "I told you that because I couldn't tell you the truth." It was a totally honest response. Sam looked weak. "But you would have let me spend the night and eat all the ham anyway." She added with a small smile, trying to lighten the situation.

Now it was Cameron's turn to be angry. "Wait! Wait, wait, wait! You ran out on dinner for her?" And then wide eyes. "Its her!"

Carly neither confirmed nor denied, but Cameron knew she was right. Sam didn't know anything.

"Its me what?" And then, as if suddenly feeling very awkward and out of place, she backed up a few steps. "I'm going to leave now. I'll talk to you later Carly. Nice meeting you, Cameron." And she left.

Cameron stepped forward, leading Carly over to a bench. "So that's her? That's the girl you're in love with?"

Carly nodded. "Unfortunately."

"Well… she is very pretty." Cameron bobbed her head, rubbing her lips together.

"Yep. Pretty, funny, exciting, fun. She's been my best friend for forever. And she's driving me crazy."

"Oh, really? I couldn't tell."

"Shut up."

Cameron grinned, feeling playful again. "Well, if its any consolation, I'm sorry she's putting you through so much hell."

Carly smiled at her. "Thanks. Hey, isn't it lunchtime? Why are you here? Shouldn't you be eating?"

Cameron's grin turned evil. "Well, I thought about food. And then I decided I'd rather have you for lunch."

And suddenly they were in the bathroom, in a stall with an 'out of order' sign on the door. Cameron was so warm and soft and smooth under her fingers. And her tongue was in her mouth and shit. She felt amazing. Her lips were so soft, so incredibly soft in that way only girls have. All the right curves in all the right places. Even with her hands slipping under Cameron's shirt and sliding up to stumble over her belly button, it wasn't enough. She wanted more, needed more. And Cameron was giving it to her. Their bodies pressed together in all the right places, and she was in heaven.

It was nothing like the boys she had fooled around. They were all clumsy and rough and angular. Cameron was silky and voluptuous and wow. Their bodies moved in sync, as if they spent all their time making out in a bathroom stall.

She was late getting back to class.

And the seat next to Sam was taken.

Carly's heart split in two as she dropped into a desk near the back. Why was this happening to her? What exactly was she doing wrong? Falling in love? Realizing she had no chance so going for someone else? Guess things sounded better in theory than in practice. She only knew one thing for sure: she wanted her best friend back. And she was sick of playing these games.

But Sam wouldn't even look at her. She stared decidedly out the window or studied her fingernails. Anywhere but at Carly. She must have done something wrong again. But what? She'd only been honest. Had that cost her her best friend?

"Something bothering you, kiddo?" Spencer's words drifted into her ears as soon as she walked in the door. Alone.

Spencer stood in front of what resembled a large hummingbird made entirely of microwaves. He was tying the last of the microwaves forming the beak together. It might have been shocking if she lived with anyone besides Spencer. But given the circumstances…

"You had to leave town to buy microwaves?"

He grinned. "Not necessarily. But I got a really good deal on these."

She bobbed her head. "Of course you did."

"Where's Sam? She didn't come up?" He inquired.

"She didn't walk home with me." Carly admitted.

The man building a sculpture from microwaves seemed surprised. "Did you fight?"

Carly shook her head. "Not exactly. Do you mind if I skip school tomorrow?"

His eyebrows lowered as he studied her. "Do you have a good reason?"

"I could possibly become a danger to society. Maybe even national security." Her bag slipped off her shoulder and she let it go. The tears were coming again. And she really didn't want to cry in front of Spencer.

But he had his arms around her before her first tear fell. "You don't have to cry! I was going to let you stay home anyway. If that's what you really want."

"That's what I really want. Will you stay with me tomorrow?"

"Of course."

Her grip on his waist tightened. She'd never been so thankful for anything before as she was for her brother in that moment.

In that moment, she felt hopeful.


	10. Chapter 10

Maybe it was a little odd to skip school on a Tuesday. But a need is a need. And besides, it wasn't like she skipped school very often. She was a good student with a great attendance record. But this day, she needed this for her mental health. Spencer being there was also entirely necessary. Good, straight-forward, predictably unpredictable Spencer. The one person, it seemed, that wasn't interested in messing with her head.

"Are you going to eat that?"

Spencer gave her a weird look, but passed over the remainder of his orange chicken. "Gees, kiddo. Since when do you eat this much? I barely got any Chinese food."

Carly shrugged a shoulder and devoured the chicken. "You ate your half of the Indian food though. Besides, I need to balance my anguish."

"Are you ready to tell me what's causing this anguish yet?" Spencer asked.

She shook her head. "One more movie and then maybe."

He sighed and nodded. "Funny or scary?"

"I don't care. Both if you can find it."

"Romance?" He sang the word to her.

She smiled and shook her head. "Romance sucks. Let's see some blood and guts and action."

"War movie?"

"No. Those are sad."

"Hitchcock movie?"

"Nah, something newer."

"Rob Zombie?"

"Ew." Carly sighed, stretching and sitting up. "I'm going to go have a shower. You keep looking."

"Okay."

Normally she took fast showers. But today wasn't a normal day. It was just after one and she was home instead of at school. She was distressed. Everyone deserves a day off, right? And since it was a day off, she decided to take her time with a shower. Only she hadn't expected to end up screaming.

Why hadn't she noticed it before? It looked like it was spreading, but no. It was just right there. And Spencer was knocking on the door, asking question after question, but not coming in.

Under her left breast extending down about two inches, was a rash. A rubbed raw, slice of her skin, red and peeling, and angry. With every drop of water came a new sizzle of pain. She backed away from the flow and covered it.

It seemed like no time at all before there was a gentle knock on the bathroom door and, "Carly?" in a small voice drifted into her ears. She sat in the corner of the bathtub, no water, no nothing. Her towel was held tight to her small frame and the voice was moving closer to her.

"Sam?" Why was she here? What about the whole avoidance thing the previous day?

"Spencer called me. He said something was wrong and you needed a girl's help." Sam offered a small smile.

She looked beautiful. She wore a deep blue long sleeve and cargo pants. Her rainbow scarf was still wrapped her neck and her knit cap was still on her head. Red cheeks, red lips.

"Why are you here?"

"I just told you."

"You know that's not what I meant."

Sam sighed as she moved closer to Carly and lifted her off the ground. "I'm here because I'm your best friend. Why else would I be?"

Carly shrugged. "I didn't realize you were still talking to me."

"Of course I am."

"Than why didn't you even look at me in class yesterday? Or walk home with me?"

"Carly, I can love you and still need my space sometimes. Now what's the problem?"

Her heart lightened. She loved her. Of course, she had always known that, but it seemed special, didn't it? Like somehow she meant it more than she ever had. But then she remembered the rash.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Can you show me?"

Carly blushed and nodded. "But I'm not going to."

"Why?" Sam's eyes lit up. "Its on your ass, isn't it?"

Carly swatted Sam's arm. "Shut up. Why does that make you happy?"

"So it is?"

"No."

"Come on, Carly. Just show me. Maybe I can help. Or go call 911 if need be."

Carly sighed, covered her nipple, and dropped her towel a little. With another sigh, she turned her head in embarrassment.

"A rash? You screamed and freaked Spencer and me out because of a rash?" Sam giggled.

"Its not funny!"

Sam cleared her throat and forced a frown, but continued to chuckle. "No, of course not. A rash is a very serious problem."

"It can be!" Carly exclaimed, feeling silly.

"Does it itch?"

She nodded.

Sam went through her cupboards and drawers until she found a small tube of hydrocortisone cream. "This should take care of it." She grinned.

She could of handed the tube over and let Carly handle her own problems. She could have left it on the sink and went back downstairs. But she didn't. Instead, she removed the cap and put a little of the cream on her finger. And instead of letting Carly apply it to her own body, she decided to take care of it herself. Sam rubbed the cream into red area directly underneath Carly's left breast.

Shocked? Stunned stupid? Carly couldn't think. She couldn't breath, couldn't move. So she just stood as still as possible as Sam massaged her ribs.

And then Sam was done, sealing the tube back up and stepping back. "I hope that rash isn't contagious." She grinned as she left the bathroom.

"What the hell are you thinking, Sam?" Carly whispered and turned the shower back on.

Sam was lounging on the couch with Spencer on the floor when Carly finally came back downstairs. They were both enjoying a nice slice of turkey bacon and totally in tuned with whatever movie Spencer had decided on. They were watching Juno.

"You know, if I was a pregnant teenager, I don't think I would want to visit the adopting father so much. I mean, an affair with him would just be awkward, wouldn't it?" Now, this statement and question might have seemed normal to most ears. Watching a movie, discussing one's own take on things. If only Spencer hadn't been the one to say it.

But Sam was nodding in agreement. "So awkward."

"You know, there would be a lot more awkward things going on if you were a pregnant teen." Carly interrupted, taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch from Sam.

Spencer leaned his head back and grinned at her. "You just gave me an awesome idea for a sculpture."

"Oh god." Carly rolled her eyes.

"I can see it now."

"Of course you can."

"It'll be magical."

"I bet."

"The next David."

"Oh yeah?"

Carly indulged in her own slice of turkey bacon as Spencer jumped to his feet and snatched his shoes. "I must create!"

"Have I told you lately how cool your brother is?" Sam asked after Spencer raced out the door.

"Its always nice to hear."

They shared a private smile. Like they had so often growing up. Carly's heart pounded in her head. But no. This would be a normal afternoon. Nothing weird, nothing crazy, nothing that made her want to rip out her hair. And Sam seemed okay with that.

They relaxed on opposite ends of the couch, watching Juno and eating turkey bacon. Spencer returned twenty minutes before the movie ended with a box full of who knows what and a smile on his face.

"What did you buy?" Carly inquired.

"Nope, not telling, so don't ask. This is my baby, my project. You'll just have to wait until its finished." Spencer babbled.

Carly's eyebrows slipped into her hairline. Spencer was always eccentric, but this was a bit much even for him. "Okay."

"I'm going to use the iCarly studio, okay? You won't need it for a couple more days anyway." With that, he raced up the stairs with the box in one hand and a Peppy Cola in the other.

The movie ended and the worry started. Once again, she was alone with Sam. But she was worried for a different reason than the million or so that had been thrown her way over the last couple of weeks. She was borderline freak-out because they had fought the day before. Because she had hurt Sam. And yet, at the first sign of a rash, Sam had coming running to her apartment.

"Hey Sam," Carly began, a little unsteady.

"Yeah?"

"Wasn't school still in session when you came here?"

"Yep, it sure was."

"And where do your teachers think you are?"

"In the bathroom."

"Oh, Sam."

"What?" Sam was grinning now, shifting into a better sitting position. "My best friend's brother calls and says it an emergency that has to do with you. What did you expect me to do?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, I didn't either. But I was hoping you might have an idea, so I asked to go to the bathroom. And then I called your cell, only you didn't answer. I sent you three texts and you didn't respond. So I came over. So, technically, it's your fault I ditched school." Sam nodded, in full agreement with her own statement, and smiled at Carly.

"What?" Carly exclaimed, eyes wide.

"Its true. My ditch is on your ass."

Carly leaped across the couch to pin Sam. "Take it back!"

"Never!" Sam sang, struggling to get out of Carly's grip and giggling.

After a few minutes of wrestling, Carly let go of Sam's wrists and let herself drop. She wrapped her arms around her best friend and sighed, content. It had been a long time since she had simply enjoyed Sam's company.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"When's your mom coming to get you?"

"Uhm…" Sam grinned. "She's not. I told her I'm spending the night."

"But I never invited you."

"Well, you should fix that. Now seems like a good time."

"Fine, you can stay."

"Good, because I wasn't going to leave anyway."

Carly returned Sam's grin, looking up at her and curling her arms around her waist.

Damn, she was in love.


	11. Chapter 11

"Brian, its over."

She'd wrestled with those words for a while now. It was mid November and Brian was simply being strung along, no matter how much the freak wanted to continue dating her. She just couldn't do it. It was time, anyway. And it wasn't like she hadn't given it a shot. They had been "together" for a month now. But she was never going to feel anything for him and it was time he realized that.

Even so, breaking up on a Saturday felt sad. Saturdays were supposed to be fun and enjoyable. And what was she doing? Breaking up with her boyfriend so she could date his sister. Oy. A situation for Jerry Springer? Probably.

"Again? Carly, is there something we should be talking about?"

They were at the pier on a bench just outside a candy store. Rain clouds were gathered over Puget Sound, as usual. The air was frosty cold, but it would warm up a degree or two to ensure they received rain instead of snow. Carly could sense a storm coming, both literally and figuratively. But for the time being, she offered Brian a small smile and held her coat tighter to her body.

"Nothing in particular. You know we have to break up. I'm gay." She shrugged.

He handed her a jawbreaker. "Carly…"

"No, I'm totally serious this time. I'm not going to tell you to break up with me; I'm not going to say I'm doing it for you. This is for me. This relationship is over for me, okay?" She shoved the jawbreaker into her mouth. Lemony.

He sighed, fidgeting. "Is this about my sister again?"

"No, Cameron has nothing to do with this. This is about me. And I can't do this." Carly said.

"Can't or won't?"

"Brian, don't make this difficult. We can be friends if you want." She offered with a smile.

He stood, frowning with every muscle in his face. "No, I don't want. I don't want to be your friend. I want to be your boyfriend."

"Well, I'm sorry. But you can't be that person in my life." She felt bad, guilty really.

He handed her the bag of candy. "Than I guess I can't be in your life."

"If that's how you want things to be."

"No, Carly, that's not how I want things to be!" He was yelling now, angry to his core. "I want you to not be attracted to my sister or in love with Sam! I want you to want me! I want you to see only me!" He exhaled, taking a deep breath and rubbing his forehead. "But I guess you'll never be that person, will you?" His voice was quiet now. Almost sad.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Brian."

He sat back down, head in hands. "Fuck!"

"You know, it would have been easier for me too, if I could have just fallen for you." Carly said in a low voice. "Do you have any idea how complicated my life has been this last month?"

He didn't respond. Just continued to curse under his breath and rub at his face. After a few minutes, he looked up and over at her. "If you are so gay, why did you continue to date me? I mean, sure, I didn't let you break up with me, but you didn't have to go on dates with me if you didn't want to."

"But I did want to. You're a fun guy, Brian. A good friend. We just can't be more than friends." She told him, feeling very honest that day.

And then he was kissing her. Nothing deep or intense, just a simple butterfly kiss on the lips. "Maybe you just need to get over Sam. Fall out of love with her. Then maybe you'll be over girls."

Carly smiled and shook her head. "Things aren't that simple. I'm gay first and in love with Sam second. Not the other way around. And they don't cancel each other out."

"Stop smiling." Brian commanded, standing again and pacing in front of her.

"Why?"

"I can't hold onto my anger when you look at me like that." He admitted sheepishly.

That just made her grin more. "Are you sure you don't want to be friends?"

"I'm in love with you."

One sentence. One very short sentence. But it contained so much emotion and passion it startled her. She stared at him, her eyes stinging with the need to cry for him. But she felt nothing else. No returned love. No nothing.

"I'm sorry."

His head bowed. He dug his hands into his pockets and turned so he couldn't look at her. "I guess I'll leave then. Make sure you go home while its still daytime. Seattle is dangerous at night."

And he left.

Carly let out a sigh of relief as she watched him walk away. This had been a long time coming, and she had only just recently found the courage to go through with it. When he disappeared from sight, she stood and headed in the opposite direction.

It had been a few weeks since her rash disaster. Bur that night had changed so much. She had recovered her friendship with Sam, and removed some of the awkwardness from it. November had brought her calm. Instead of the raging emotions October had been filled with, she felt light and airy. The earth was cold, but she felt like she could relax anywhere. Thanksgiving was in five days, her grandfather was coming to it, but she couldn't even get herself worked up over that.

Cameron was waiting for her in Starbucks about a block away. She sat in a soft purple coat and a striped scarf. A smile lit up her eyes when Carly took a seat across from her.

"Well?" She asked, leaning over to plant a kiss on Carly's lips.

"Its over." Carly nodded, sipping the espresso Cameron had bought her.

Cameron repeated the nod. "How'd he take it?"

Carly gave her a weird look. "Are you worried about him?"

"Of course! He's still my brother." Cameron said.

"He didn't take it as well as I hoped, but not terrible either, I guess." Carly sighed.

"Well, you did play with him for a month."

"Hey!"

"Don't worry, baby. I'm just pointing out the obvious. I'm not trying to take hits at you."

Carly took another swig of her espresso. Her relationship with Cameron was progressing steadily. Since she had spent Halloween with Sam, she spent All Saints' Day with Cameron. And that had been the day that catapulted their relationship forward. Instead of hassled make-outs at school during the lunch period, or fast meetings after school before rushing off to something else, they had actually given each other the time to get to know one another. That had also been the day Carly had decided to once and for all end her relationship with Brian.

"You want to do something today?" Cameron asked, bringing Carly out of her reverie.

"I can't. Spencer wants my help with his latest sculpture."

"What is it?"

"I have no idea." Carly grinned. She leaned over and placed a kiss on Cameron's cheek. "See you on Monday?"

Cameron nodded.

Carly got home to loud music. Spencer was nowhere to be seen, but music was fighting its way out of the speakers.

"Hello?" Carly called, hoping he could hear her over the noise.

But then Spencer appeared on the stairs, and flipped the stereo off. "Hey kiddo, I was hoping you'd get home soon."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Here I am. What's the project?"

"I need you to pose for me."

He sat her on the counter, angling her arms so that her right arm twisted at an awkward angle over her head and her left arm held it there. She rubbed her lips together and stared at him.

"Is this position really necessary?" She questioned.

"Yup. Hold still."

They were quiet for a while. The music went back on, just at a lower sound level, and Spencer went to work at sculpting. Carly had always enjoyed watching her brother look. He became so focused and intense and serious and actually adult-like. Normally, he was just her eccentric brother who never seemed far from her in age. But when he sculpted, he actually looked like the man he'd become. And when she noticed it, she always felt a gush of love for her brother.

"So where did you go this morning?" Spencer asked, a half-hour into his sculpting.

"I broke up with my boyfriend." Carly told him flat out.

He gave her a twisted look. "Since when did you have a boyfriend?"

"Since midway into October, I guess." She tried to shrug, but the pose didn't really let her.

"I see I've been left out of the loop." He sounded miffed.

"Sorry? It wasn't an important thing in my life." She offered him a smile.

He returned the smile. "Okay. Just let me know next time? I worry about you when you keep things from me."

"Of course." Not that she'd ever have a boyfriend again. Or that he would know if she was keeping things from him.

"So you liked this boy? What happened?" Spencer prompted.

"I still like him. Just as a friend, though."

"Oh."

And then Sam walked in, stripping off her coat and gloves. "Hola."

"Hey, Sam." Carly greeted. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, its Saturday. And you're my best friend. Guess." Sam replied, strolling over to them.

Carly smiled. "Well, I don't know how much fun I can be, I'm posing for Spencer."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Spencer is sculpting you?"

"Yep."

"Than why does the sculpture look like a squirrel?"

"What?" Carly whipped her head to the other side to look at Spencer's sculpture. It was indeed a squirrel. "I thought you were sculpting me?"

"I was." Spencer nodded. "But then I looked over at my empty fishbowl and thought about squirrels and suddenly," he turned the sculpture slightly so she could see it better, "she was made."

Carly dropped her arms and hopped off the counter. "A fishbowl made you think of squirrels?"

He nodded, his eyebrows scrunched together. "Oddly, yes."

"So I'm free to go? You don't really need me today?"

"I guess not. Have fun." He kissed the top of her head.

"You want to go see a movie?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, actually, I do."

Going to a movie was a bad idea. She couldn't focus; she wasn't even sure who the main character was. All she could think about was Sam's lips. It was dark; they were almost alone in the theater. And it had been so long since Sam had last kissed her. Weeks. And she missed it. She needed to feel Sam's soft lips pressed against her own.

Why the hell was she hoping for Sam to kiss her? Wasn't that what had thrown her life into uproar the previous month? Yes! But damn. Sam looked so pretty today and what could one kiss hurt? And everyone else in the theater was sitting in front of them. No one else would notice.

"Are you okay? You're awfully quiet today." Sam said when the movie ended.

Carly nodded. "I'm fine. Just got a lot on my mind, I guess."

"Didn't you have a date with Brian today?"

She bobbed her head again. "This morning. I broke up with him."

Sam's jaw dropped a little. "What? Why?"

She shrugged. "Just didn't like him as more than a friend."

Sam nodded and then eyed her. "So who do you like as more than friend?"

She almost said 'you.' She stopped and stared at Sam. She'd been seeing Cameron for weeks, but for some reason, Sam was still the one she wanted to be with. What the hell was wrong with her? She was seeing a beautiful, funny, smart girl already. What was it about Sam that made her want to drop everything if Sam would give her the time of day?

Sam stopped too, circling back to be face to face. "What? Who is it?"

"I think we should talk."

"Okay. About what?"

"I'm dating Cameron."


	12. Chapter 12

"What?"

Sam was staring at her, eyes wide and mouth open. She seemed surprised by the word that came out of her own mouth.

Carly grabbed her arm and moved her forward. "Don't just stand there, people will think we're having an interesting conversation."

"Aren't we?" Sam asked, her voice going pitchy with surprise.

"No, I don't think so." She was blushing. She couldn't help it.

"But Cameron is a girl." Sam stated, speaking very slowly.

"I know."

"So what are you saying?"

"That I'm dating her."

They were outside now. Rain had started up while they were in the theater and was coming down fairly hard now. But Sam didn't seem to notice and wasn't trying at all to protect herself against the onset. Carly wasn't caring much about it either.

"You're dating a girl."

"Yes."

"Oh."

They walked in silence for a few minutes, heading back to Carly's loft. The rain was continuing to fall, picking up a bit, and they were quickly getting soaked. But still, no attention was paid to it. And things couldn't be too bad. At least Sam was still walking next to her, still seemed to have the intent to go back to her apartment.

"How long have you been together?" Sam finally questioned, avoiding eye contact.

"Not too long." Carly nodded, folding her hands behind her back.

"What happened to dating Brian?"

"Well…" Carly gave her a guilty look.

"You are still dating Brian?" Sam exclaimed.

"Kind of."

"Yeah, that's not weird."

Carly laughed. "That actually isn't the weird part."

"Do I want to know?"

"Cameron is Brian's sister."

"Shit."

"I know."

A couple more moments of silence past. And it was then she realized just how badly she was freezing. Sure, in the shock of the moment, she hadn't paid attention to the rain and the cold. But now she was cold. And Sam couldn't be much better off.

"So… you're bisexual? Or is Cameron just an experiment?"

"I'm… not experimenting or bisexual."

"Then…?"

"I'm gay, Sam." The words still felt weird. It hadn't been long since she had admitted it to herself, and it felt really soon to be admitting it to Sam, even if she was her best friend.

"Oh."

They got back to Carly's loft to find Spencer sitting on the couch watching Girly Cow.

"Hey kiddo. Sam."

"We're going to be in my room, Spence." Then her stomach tightened with fear. "Right?" She added to Sam in a small voice.

Sam nodded. "Unless you happen to have bacon. Or blueberry muffins?"

Without invitation, which she generally never waits for, Sam strode across the loft and into the kitchen. She quickly searched through cupboards and the refrigerator until she found a sandwich, which she immediately claimed with a large bite.

"Mmm, turkey."

"Sam… my room?" Carly bit her lip.

"Yeah, coming."

She was wearing dry clothes with her hair wrapped in a towel before Sam showed up in her room. Every once in a while she gave a involuntary shudder to throw off the cold. She sat nervously on her bed. Where would things go from here? Would Sam feel awkward around her after she came out to her? Or maybe explain why she kept kissing her now that she knew it could be having some kind of an effect?

"So…"

Sam sat at her desk, taking monstrous bites of her sandwich. "So?" she said between mouthfuls.

"So what are you thinking?" She couldn't remember ever feeling this nervous before. And queasy. Queasy was definitely becoming a factor.

"About what?" Sam asked, wiping some bit of condiment off her face with the long sleeve of the shirt Carly had let her barrow.

"About what I just told you."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"I um… don't really know. I mean, what should I be thinking?" Sam shrugged.

Okay, she'd drawn blood from her lip in her biting. "You want me to tell you what to think?"

Sam finished off her sandwich. "I just don't know what to think. I mean, I guess if I had to give you something, I would tell you how FREAKING PISSED OFF I AM!"

Carly jumped. "What?"

"I thought I was your best friend! And then what happens? You figure out you're gay! You get a girlfriend! And you do all of this without a word to me! Tell me, were you already with her when you introduced me to her?" Sam was yelling. Yelling and pacing in front of her.

"But… but," Carly stuttered.

"But what? You say I'm your best friend but you keep one of the most important parts of your life from me!" Sam finally dropped down on the bed next to her. "Have we really drifted that far apart, Carly?" She added in a small voice.

Stupid teen hormone bursts. And stupid Sam with her Stupid cuteness. She felt like crying. All from Sam's words and the sad look she had on her face. She dropped back, resting her head on her pillow, and sighed.

"No, we haven't. We're still close." She said, touching the back of Sam's arm with her fingertips.

"Are we?" Sam lay back too, turning her head to meet Carly's eyes.

Carly nodded. "Of course."

"Then why are you just telling me now?"

"Because… because I didn't know how to tell you. I wasn't sure how you'd react." Carly bobbed her shoulders.

Sam rubbed her lips together and turned her head back to face the ceiling. "Well, just try to keep me in the loop from now on. Okay?"

Carly nodded. "Okay." When Sam didn't say anything for a few minutes Carly said, "What?"

"I'm still mad." San responded.

"I'm sorry."

"I know. But I'm still mad."

"Would another sandwich make you feel better?"

"No."

"Bacon?"

"No."

"Ham?"

"No."

Carly sat up and gasped dramatically. "An issue of Sam's that can't be solved by food?"

Sam tried to stop the smile that crept onto her face. "Some wounds not even ham can mend."

"Then what can I do to mend your wounds?"

Sam got off the bed, straightening her clothes and brushing her hair out of her face. She turned around and stared down at Carly, her eyes shaded under her long bangs. Then she bent down and kissed Carly. Nothing extreme, no tongue. Just a gentle kiss with very little pressure.

"Nothing." She mumbled, and left the room.

And the urge for crying was back. Only stronger.

But then Sam opened the door and stepped back in. "I love you. A lot. No matter what. But I'm still leaving because I'm still mad."

Carly grinned. "I love you too."

Sam smiled back and left.

"Well…"

Carly headed back downstairs to find Spencer still on the couch. She sat down next to him and cleared her throat, frown back on her face. But Spencer didn't say anything. So she did it again. Still nothing. Third time's the charm?

"Is something wrong, Carly?" Spencer finally asked.

She sighed dramatically. "Nothing."

"Okay."

"Spencer!" She exclaimed.

"What?" He jumped, shifting away to look at her. "You said nothing was wrong."

"I was lying."

"Okay."

"Spencer!"

"Fine, fine. What's wrong?"

"I'm worried about me and Sam."

"Why?"

"I told her I'm gay."

"Yeah, well, that can stress a- YOU"RE WHAT?"

Spencer jumped to his feet and waved his arms dramatically. Carly rubbed her hands together and smiled.

"I forgot that I hadn't told you yet."

"YA THINK?"


	13. Chapter 13

It was supposed to be snowing. The weatherman had promised. But, of course, this was Washington. And Washington loved rain. So, instead of beautiful white flakes falling from the gray sky, heavy raindrops splattered against the ground.

Early December always brought this kind of disappointment. Half of Seattle was getting ready to celebrate Hanukah and the other half was preparing for Christmas and everyone wanted snow either way. It just made the holidays seem that much closer and in reach. But the weatherman always seemed to be wrong when he managed to bring hope into the city only to shatter it with hours of rain instead of the snow.

Carly stared out the window, watching water slide down the glass and shatter against the pavement below. She wore a white t-shirt and underwear. And Cameron was staring at her from a few feet away.

"It really is okay for you not to be ready, Carly." Cameron said for what felt like the millionth time in five minutes.

Carly slammed her fist into the glass and bit back another wave of tears. Why was she getting so emotional over this? It was stupid. All she wanted to do was fuck her girlfriend, and here she sat. Unable to comply.

"Its not okay." She mumbled, pulling her legs tighter against her body.

Cameron got off the bed and moved closer, wrapping her arms around Carly. "It really is. We've only been together just over a month. There's no need to rush things. Really, this is okay."

And then Cameron's lips were on hers. She'd kissed Cameron so many times over the last couple of months, but it still felt new and exciting. And when Cameron's tongue slipped into her mouth, well that was just the icing on the cake. Passion inflamed along with everything else, Carly stood, pressing her body against her, her fingers sliding down Cameron's bare ribcage, sliding over belly button.

Maybe this was something she could do.

She walked them backwards to her bed and dropped down to her cold satin sheets. Cameron was warm and smooth beneath her fingertips and she explored fervently, needing to find that sensitive spot at the back of her elbow and that pleasure point just slightly in from her hipbone. But she couldn't stay still. Their lips crashed together over and over and over and if she could have stopped she wouldn't have anyway because this felt so much like a need instead of want.

Her hands slid back up Cameron's body straight to her breasts, encasing them. And god. Just one of the many benefits that being with a man didn't provide. Soft and warm and smooth and if she kissed just there, Cameron would make a sound that sent thrills straight through her. And there that sound was and there the lightening went outside the window, but it felt like it had shaken through her as well.

She laid Cameron back onto her pillows, kissing her way down her body, pausing to bite at the pulse in her neck, again at the underside of her right breast. She traced a path from there down to her belly button. Entire body on fire, Carly couldn't think. She was lost in Cameron's scent and taste and feel and wow. Lick here, touch there and Cameron would respond with one of those deep guttural moans that scent quivers down her spine to her core.

Then Cameron was dragging her back up to meet her lips. And their tongues touched and maybe she could really do this. Her hand eased back down Cameron's body, stopping to rub here and there, needing to make sure everything was real and solid and slick with heat. All too soon, her fingers were toying with the waistband of Cameron's panties and sliding just inside and the gasp and grin from Cameron made her not even consider hesitating before shoving the rest of her hand inside.

Only Cameron reached for her then and she jumped back.

"I can't!"

Her heart was pounding, her head floating somewhere with the clouds. Brain hazy, body not listening, she straightened her clothes.

"I can't. I can't do it." The words were out of her mouth before they even passed through her mind, but she already knew they were true.

Cameron looked like she did too, but she didn't want to accept it. "Sure you can. We already were there. Just a little further." The disappointment was so evident on her face, cheeks red, eyes downcast. She was panting and staring down her body like she missed the warmth Carly had provided there only moments before.

Carly went back to her, resting her hand on Cameron's leg. "I'm sorry."

Cameron sat up, pulling Carly against her. "Your heart's racing. So is mine. You want this just as much as I do. You _can_ do this."

Carly nodded, feeling ashamed. "I do want this, I want you. But I can't do it."

Cameron sighed, resting her cheek on Carly's shoulder. Giving in. "Its okay, Carly. We don't have to go all the way today. It really is okay."

Carly pulled away, suddenly angry. "No, Cam, its not." She stood and paced across the room.

"Carly."

"Its not okay!" She finally exploded, throwing her arms in the air. "I mean, look at you! My gorgeous, half naked girlfriend in my bed with no one else home and what do I do? Nothing! I can't do anything!" Her eyes filled again. "I want to be with you. But, for some reason…"

"We both know the reason." Cameron sighed, moving to sit against the window. "Its her."

"Its not her."

"It is. You're still in love with Sam."

Carly stared at her, lips parted. "I… I'm not…"

"You are."

" I can't stop it. Cameron, I can't suddenly fall out of love with her. She's my best friend. I see her almost everyday. I can't change my feelings, even if I want to."

"I know, I know. But you told her you're gay a month ago. And what's happened? Nothing! Why? Because she's not gay, and she's never going to be! Come on, Carly. Let yourself move on. You have me." Cameron looked almost sad, her voice shrinking as she went on.

A stab of pain went through her heart. After all, Cameron had been the one who told her to hold onto hope. But, at the same time, she was right. Sam knew she was gay. They hadn't talked about it since she had come out to her, but she still knew. And she hadn't kissed her since.

"Carly, just… maybe we should take a break."

Another stab of pain. "What?"

"You, you need to get over Sam. Maybe when we first started I was okay with you being in love with someone else, but it's been two months. And I really like you. I want to be with you. But I also want you to see only me. Maybe if we take a break you'll be able to get passed Sam and finally love me." Cameron put her pants back on quickly followed by her shirt.

"But I do love you." Maybe. Maybe she loved Cameron. She should, right?

Cameron shrugged. "I hope you do. I wish you could. But you and I both know you only see Sam."

"Why are you doing this?" Carly questioned, her eyes finally letting the tears spill over when Cameron reached the door.

"Doing this? Carly, I have spent weeks knowing that if Sam ever gave you even the slightest sign of interest you'd be done with me! And I still stayed by your side! I thought that if you just spent enough time with me you'd forget about her and fall for me! But that isn't going to happen. And I hate feeling like this. Being with you is making me hate myself." Cameron's eyes were filling up.

"I'm sorry."

"Please, Carly. Just let me walk away from this. Let me find myself again. And maybe you'll stop with your Sam thing. Then maybe you and I could be something. But the way things are?" She shook her head. "You know this isn't working."

"That isn't something I know!" Carly protested. "Please don't leave me!"

Cameron wiped her eyes and pulled open the door, grabbing her coat. "I'm sorry, Carly."

"Cameron," she was pleading. It made her feel weak.

"Don't, Carly. Let me go."

And then she was alone in her loft. Alone in her t-shirt and panties with tears streaming down her face and all she could do was cry. Not that she hadn't seen this coming. Cameron was right. Every time she looked at Cameron, touched her, kissed her, tried to make love to her, Sam would fill her brain. And she wouldn't be able to continue because it made everything feel like infidelity, even though Sam wasn't her girlfriend.

Sam didn't want to be.

That thought killed her.

Some part of her had believed that Sam would come around. Some part thought that telling Sam she was gay would open the door for something. But it hadn't changed anything. They hadn't talked about her being gay since she had told her. Sam seemed to be keeping her distance, actually, when it came to touching.

She headed back upstairs and into the shower without removing her clothing. Cold water sprayed out, soaking her and raising goose-bumps along her skin. She shrieked and jumped back.

So much for being numb enough not to feel it.


	14. Chapter 14

"Its Christmas Eve."

"Sure is."

"And Christmas is a family holiday."

"Yes."

"Then why is Sam here?"

Carly grinned at her older brother before turning her head back to face Sam, who was devouring a pumpkin pie all by herself. It was indeed Christmas Eve. It had snowed the day before, which meant the world below was covered in dirty brown slush. But that was okay. Because it was Christmas Eve and she was with her best friend and her brother. Nothing was going to dampen her mood.

"Why aren't you celebrating with your mom, Sam?" Carly asked, it clicking in her head what Spencer was saying.

Sam shrugged, swallowing. "My mom held Christmas for me three weeks ago. She dressed up the cat and set a turkey on fire."

"What?!"

"Don't worry, the turkey was dead."

"She dressed up the cat?"

"Yeah, I don't know."

The three plopped down on the couch to watch the Christmas specials for little kids. And, for once, everything felt right. She had recovered from Cameron breaking up with her. She was finally okay with using Brian and breaking his heart. And here she sat, between her best friend and her brother, and what more could she really ask for?

"So Carly, got any plans with Cameron tonight?" Sam asked. Spencer shifted next to her, he still wasn't comfortable with the idea yet, but he was getting there.

Carly shook her head. "We broke up."

"What?" Sam and Spencer exclaimed in unison.

"And you didn't bother to tell me?" Sam questioned, leaning forward.

"Or maybe your loving, devoted brother? You know, that guy you happen to live with?" Spencer put in.

Carly chuckled. "Sorry. It was a few weeks ago. I guess I forgot."

Sam threw her arms up in the air, sitting back into the couch. "What happened to keeping me in the loop?"

"I'm sorry for not telling you. Well, I wasn't, but I'm sorry now. Okay? I apologize." Carly grinned sarcastically at her.

"Whatever." Sam pouted.

"How about I run across the street and buy you a smoothie to make up for it?" Carly offered.

Sam bit her lip. "Blueberry banana blitz?"

"Of course."

"Do I get one?" Spencer asked, looking a little left out.

"Sure, what do you want?" Carly smiled at her brother.

"Surprise me."

She hopped off the couch and shoved her feet into her shoes. "I'll be back soon, my sweets." She sang to them and sprinted out the door.

It was freezing outside. She probably should have thought about that before taking off. She had a jacket on, but it just wasn't enough against the wind whipping over the hills of Seattle. Clutching her jacket closer to her body, she put her head down and jogged across the road after letting three cars drive past.

Groovy Smoothie was fairly empty, seeing as it was Christmas Eve. But it was still open and looking quite festive with its twinkling lights and fake Christmas tree set up in the corner. A Happy Holidays sign hung in the window, flashing neon red. Carly marched right up to the counter.

"Hi. I need a blueberry banana blitz, a strawberry attack, and a mango tango." She smiled at the cashier, leaning against the yellow plastic edge.

While waiting for her smoothies, Carly studied the other Groovy Smoothie customers. An old man with the rattiest beanie on his head and a cigarette, which had probably gone out several weeks earlier, in the corner of his mouth. Two girls, probably sisters, laughed and shared a smoothie in the corner. And-

"Carly Shay?" Tyler.

"Tyler?" She said incredulously. What the hell was he doing here? "What are you doing here?"

She hadn't seen him in months, and he wasn't dating Sam any more, but being in his presence still made her unhappy. There was just something about him that made her want to walk away. It was probably the fact that he _had_ been dating Sam up until recently, but she liked to think Sam didn't have quite that much control over her feelings.

"Having a smoothie." Tyler tilted his smoothie towards her in a 'cheers' gesture and took a sip.

"Alone? On Christmas Eve?" The questions were out before she could control her mouth. She rubbed her lips together, feeling guilty.

He gave her a grim smile. "Well, thanks to you, I don't have a girlfriend anymore so, yes."

She frowned at him and lowered her eyebrows into a slight glare. "What do you mean thanks to me?"

"Sam. She never would have broken up with me if it wasn't for you." He accused, looking smug.

"Sorry, dude, but you're wrong. She broke up with you because of you. It had nothing to do with me."

And he was suddenly angry, springing to his feet and slamming his hands into the table. "It had everything to do with you!" He exclaimed. But then he looked around at the startled faces of their compatriots, so he sat back down.

The cashier called her order and she grabbed it before joining him at his table. "What are you talking about?"

He gave her a sarcastic smile. "You don't know?"

"No. I don't. Are you going to share or should I just leave?" She was getting a little annoyed.

"You mean your bestest buddy Sam didn't tell you?" He jabbed again, sitting up and giving her a sickening grin. "Wow."

"Either talk or I can go so you can continue to be alone on Christmas Eve." She threatened.

"Gees, relax. I didn't say I wouldn't tell you. I'm just surprised that she wouldn't." He rested his cheek in the palm of his hand.

"Well, we don't talk about you." Carly defended.

"It isn't about me. It's about you. Do you talk about you?"

"Stop taunting me and just say whatever it is."

"Did she tell you why we broke up?"

"Kind of."

"Did she tell you she broke up with me?"

"Yeah, because she wasn't interested in you."

"And you believe that?"

Her cheeks flushed. "Yes. I believe my friend. And I always will over slime like you."

He leaned back. "Well, if you are sure she's telling the truth…."

"Fine, you jack-ass. What's your side of the story?" She said it in a mocking tone.

She hated that she was acting like this. But she couldn't help it. This guy had dared Sam to kiss her. This guy, as far as she was concerned at that moment, was the root of her current issues. That and he'd had a relationship with Sam that she would never experience.

He chuckled. "Fiery. I see why Sam likes you."

"You," she stood, "are just wasting my time."

"Wait, wait, wait." He put his hands up like he was trying to calm down an elephant. "Sit back down. I have information you don't."

She waited a moment before sitting back down. "You have thirty seconds. After that, I don't care."

"Well, I can't give you everything in thirty seconds." He stood, pulling on a coat and wrapping a scarf around his neck. "But I can tell you this: she told me to dare her to kiss you. She wanted to kiss you, I didn't want her to."

And threw away his cup and walked out the door.

She slumped in her seat, dumbstruck. Swinging her head around, she demanded, "Did you hear what he just said?" of the cashier.

The cashier shrugged. "Um… I guess I did?"

She hopped to her feet. "Can you believe that shit he just handed me?"

The cashier shrugged again. "I thought he looked like he was being completely honest."

"Oh, what do you know?!" She grabbed her smoothies and left the Groovy Smoothie.

Back in her loft, Spencer and Sam were still lounging on the couch, watching Frosty the Snowman. Carly had finally gotten her mind back under her control when she walked in the door.

"I love this guy." Spencer admitted to them. "Even though he melts at the end of winter every year, he still comes back and brings happiness into the hearts of millions. That's beautiful." He sniffled.

Sam laughed. "Oh, hey cupcake. You got my smoothie?"

Carly bobbed her head and handed Sam her smoothie without a word. She plopped down next to Spencer and handed him the strawberry attack. "It's new," she told him, "and I thought you might like to try it."

He took a sip. "Lemony." He decided.

"Its strawberry." She told him.

He took another sip. "Lemony." He declared and she grinned at him.

"Okay, lemony." She agreed.

She reclined towards Sam, resting her head in her lap. Sam automatically began to play with her hair. What if Tyler hadn't been lying? What if Sam really had wanted to kiss her?

"You know what would really make this feel like Christmas?" Sam asked them.

"A sculpture of Santa?" Spencer offered.

"It was a rhetorical question. But the real answer is ham. Even though you mere mortals didn't catch on. So where's yours?" Sam licked her lips. "Mama's hungry."

Spencer got up. "Ham does sound good. And we might actually have one."

Carly turned her head to look up at Sam. "Sam?"

"Yeah?" Sam bowed her head to meet Carly's eyes.

She couldn't ask. The words just wouldn't come out. "Nothing."

Sam eyed her suspiciously. "Okay."

"Merry Christmas?"

"Yep, ditto."

"Sam!"

"Fine. Merry Christmas."

"I love you?" Her heart fluttered.

Sam grinned at her. "More than anything."


	15. Chapter 15

Just a few hours left before the start of a new year. Had she ever been this happy to end a year before? Probably not. And it wasn't like the whole year had sucked; just certain parts of it had been more than stressful. What better way to start afresh then with a brand new, never before seen, year? So this was good. Right?

Her sigh puffed out the air in a blast of pearly white. It was after nine. Night had already fallen and snow fell in soft flakes around Seattle. She leaned further out of her open window and let the delicate white melt on her skin.

"Carly?" Spencer stood off to the side, eyeing her with curiosity. "Is something wrong? You used to love New Year's."

Carly shrugged. "I still do."

Spencer nodded. "You going to come downstairs soon? Freddie and Sam are watching New York welcome the New Year."

She pulled her window closed and locked it. "Okay, I'm coming." She mumbled, following her brother downstairs.

Freddie and Sam sat next to each other on the couch; clearly they didn't hate each other quite as much as they wanted everyone to believe. Fireworks went off on the television, lighting up the crammed streets of New York. A plate of ham sat on the coffee table, not quite forgotten as Sam was eating a chunk and Spencer was heading over to get a piece himself.

Carly leaned against the wall next to the stereo. She really had no reason at the present time to feel so miserable, but she did. She felt… empty. And it was a void that just seemed to be getting bigger. Brian and Cameron hadn't filled it. And it was there like a bug bite. It just seemed to get bigger the more she scratched at it, oddly, also like a bug bite. This wasn't the time to be thinking about bug bites though. Here it was New Year's Eve. Her two best friends and her brother were celebrating with her. There was ham available to all. It was winter vacation from school. She could sleep all day the next day if she so chose. All cause for cheer.

And yet... she still felt that emptiness.

"Something wrong cupcake?" Sam grinned back at her before snatching yet another chunk of ham.

Carly shook her head as if that might send her thoughts flying and joined her friends on the couch. "Are we really gonna just sit here for three hours?"

Freddie shrugged a shoulder. "You and I could practice that first kiss of the New Year, if you want to?"

"Not especially."

"Good, I don't either." Freddie blushed, looking away.

"We could film a special New Year episode of iCarly." Carly suggested, turning her head to look at her friends.

Freddie bobbed his head in consideration. "We could."

But Sam wasn't having any of it. "No, we just did a show three days ago. Can we, for once, enjoy a holiday without posting online?"

"You just don't want to leave the ham." Carly accused with a sly grin.

Sam shrugged a shoulder. "Can't leave the ham all by its lonesome."

"I'm here, though." Spencer interjected from the kitchen, holding a bowl of green pudding.

"The ham would get so lonely without us down here to enjoy its company." Sam said loudly.

"Okay, okay. I get it." Spencer said, his hands rose in surrender.

Carly chuckled. "Watching people around the world celebrate isn't exactly fun if you do it for three hours."

"Maybe." Sam jiggled a shoulder. "Let's talk about it again in three hours and see if you're right."

She sighed and stood. "Maybe I'll just go for a walk."

"Uh, no you won't." Spencer said from the kitchen around a mouthful of pudding.

"Why not?" She demanded of him.

"Because we live in Seattle and it's late at night." He pointed out.

"So? Its not like I'm going to get mugged or anything. I'll be okay."

"Yes you will. Because you aren't going."

"Fine." She ran up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door. It wasn't that Spencer was being unreasonable or anything. But for some reason, sitting on the couch and watching fireworks on television just didn't hold any appeal this year.

And how could Sam be acting like this? She told her she was gay. She told her she broke up with Cameron. Something should be happening! Right? Wrong. Very wrong. Because Sam wasn't gay.

Why was she still doing this to herself? One would think she'd give up after a certain amount of time passed, but she couldn't. Every time Sam walked in with that grin on her face and a piece of bacon in her hand, Carly fell for her all over again. But Sam hadn't kissed her since that night and probably forgot that she was gay. It wasn't something they discussed at all. Sam seemed to be avoiding the topic. She didn't even talk to her about boys anymore or anything.

Maybe she had brought all of this on herself. Come to think of it, she had never kissed Sam. Sam was always the one to initiate things. And she had told Sam she was gay and had a girlfriend. Maybe that had sent the message that she was unavailable? Perhaps she needed to kiss Sam first to let her know she was interested? It could work.

Carly sprawled across her bed, sighing and stretching. Life is too complicated. It would be nice to think only of current needs. Like needing a burrito. Yeah, that would be the life.

"Carly?"

She craned her neck to see her door. Spencer stood in front of it, hands folded behind his back.

"Yeah?" She answered.

"Are you mad?"

She shook her head.

"Because if you are really that desperate for a walk, I could go with you as a bodyguard."

She grinned at him. "Its okay, I don't need a walk."

"Do you want to come back downstairs then? Sam's just finishing the ham, but Freddie is worried about you." Spencer moved further into the room, joining her on the bed.

She sighed. "Figures."

"What?"

"Nothing. I'll come downstairs."

He curled an arm around her shoulders and led her out of her room. "Welcome back to the… well, party."

"Yay." Carly said unenthusiastically.

As it got closer to midnight, the excitement did mount. When they hit the ten-minute mark, Freddie began counting down. At least, he did until Sam said it was too uncool for her to witness. So he stopped.

Five minutes to go, Spencer pulled the sparkling cider out of the refrigerator along with a few glasses, which he had also conveniently stored in the refrigerator.

One minute left. Suddenly no one could bear to be sitting. Spencer hopped around his final sculpture of the year and yipped… which was a little disturbing for all who witnessed. Freddie fixed his clothes compulsively and glowed red as he stared at Carly with hopeful eyes. Sam raided the fridge, one last food consumption before midnight. And Carly paced in front of the window nervously.

Ten seconds. She could hear her heartbeat in her nose, which was a little more than awkward since it doesn't beat there no matter what.

Nine seconds. Sam had a mouthful of food. Could she really kiss her at midnight?

Eight seconds. Freddie got jittery and shouted something in a foreign language that was probably Pig Latin. Which isn't actually foreign.

Seven seconds. Spencer was helping himself to a bit of blueberry pie that had been hidden up to this point. Sam's expression said she wasn't happy about being left out of the blueberry secret.

Six seconds. Why was her heart pounding so loudly? She had kissed Sam before. Why was this time so nerve-racking?

Five seconds. Amazing. How was time passing so slowly?

Four seconds. Spencer was steadily filling the champagne glasses and the rest of them had migrated over to pick one up.

Three.

Two.

One.

Clink.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The group shouted to no one in particular.

Carly drank deeply from her glass of cider and avoided eye contact with her company. She couldn't do it. Especially not there in front of her brother and Freddie.

"Fredward Benson!" Freddie's mom appeared in the doorway, looking angry and wearing… a muumuu? "Its after midnight! You aren't going to get your REM sleep! And you know what that means? You'll get ticks!"

"Mom!" Freddie protested. "I don't have ticks! And it's New Year's."

But she only snapped her fingers and pointed to their apartment. "Go! Now!"

He bowed his head and stomped out the door. "Bye, guys." He mumbled.

"Man, that woman lets him on a longer leash every year." Sam grinned sarcastically.

"Poor Freddie." Carly frowned. "He's nearly sixteen. Isn't it time she gave him a little freedom?"

"She did let him stay out until midnight." Spencer shrugged.

"What time is it?"

"Twelve o' one."

"Right."

Spencer finished off his cider and set the glass down. "Well, I'm off to bed. Gotta dream up my first sculpture of the year. Shut off the lights when you go upstairs?"

Carly nodded. "Sure."

He kissed her forehead and went off to his room.

"Alone at last." Sam observed, tasting Spencer's pie.

Carly bobbed her head. "Yeah. Guess I'll go to bed too. Clean up after yourself?"

Sam shook her head and dropped her fork. "I'll go with you."

Carly helped her put away the pie and cider. She flipped the light switch as they headed up the stairs. She stopped off in the bathroom to brush her teeth. Well, she hadn't kissed Sam. But she was getting to sleep with her still. Lol.

She entered her room to find Sam standing there in her t-shirt and underwear, having just dropped her pants to change. Her mouth opened when Carly just stood there, stunned, but she made no grab at her pajamas.

For some strange reason, the scene in front of her eyes boosted her confidence.

"I want you to be my first kiss of the New Year." She told Sam straight out.

Sam didn't reply, so she strode forward and kissed her. Not some lame butterfly, timid kiss. A real kiss. The kind that makes you think your lips had probably been cold before, along with your tongue, because they suddenly feel really hot and there isn't any other explanation. At least, no explanation you'll accept.

Her hand was cupped around Sam's ear, her fingers curling into the blond curls. And Sam's eyes were closed. She'd never kissed someone before and left her eyes open, and now that she did, it felt kind of weird. But Sam didn't seem to notice and was doing this incredible thing with the tip of her tongue and it was more than Carly had been looking for.

So she pulled back.

"Okay…" she said in a rocky voice. "Thanks. Um… night."

She stepped around Sam and dropped into bed, still fully dressed. Sam stood there in her t-shirt and underwear, her eyes wide with shock, as Carly flicked off the light.


	16. Chapter 16

"Aw!! Its my little sis's sixteenth birthday!" Spencer cooed.

January fourteenth. It was freezing outside, but the weather had decided to warm up slightly so it would rain all afternoon instead of snow. It being her sixteenth birthday, she was a little extra pissed on that day because of it. So spiteful.

Sam was laughing on the couch. "That's like the millionth time you've said that today, Spence."

"Because its little Carly's birthday! I remember when she was born. So cute. So small. So angry." He cocked his head to the side and smiled lovingly at her. "You broke my finger when you were only eight months old. I knew we were fated to spend our life together after that."

She flushed. "Spencer…"

"And for your special day," he continued. "I made you a sculpture."

Maybe some kids would have been disappointed. She wasn't one of them. She was thrilled.

"Where is it?" she asked excitedly.

"I will go get it!" Spencer announced loudly, and fled to his bedroom.

And there it was. A giant koala with its tongue sticking out the side of its mouth and a disco ball in each hand. Oddly, standing on a toaster.

Carly laughed loudly. "I love it!"

They embraced.

Freddie stood nervously next to the sculpture. "I'm giving you a birthday present too."

All eyes turned to him. "Okay?" Carly replied.

"I'm giving you me." He grinned, flushing bright red.

She laughed accidentally and immediately covered her mouth when Freddie bowed his head. "I'm sorry." She apologized. "I love your gift. Its very… thoughtful."

"Yeah…" He sighed heavily. "I didn't think you'd be interested. So I got you this." He held a box wrapped in hot pink paper out to her.

"Your color choice…?" Sam chuckled.

"Shut up!" Freddie blushed deeper. "My mom picked out the paper."

"Right."

"Sam!" Carly scolded. "It doesn't matter. Do you really have to go at Freddie on my birthday?"

Sam fell silent and Freddie grinned triumphantly.

"Ha, ha."

"Freddie, that goes for you too."

His mouth closed.

She considered slowly removing the wrapping paper: fold by fold, piece of tape by piece of tape. But she decided she didn't have that kind of patience and ripped the paper off.

"You got me a video camera?" She exclaimed, feeling dumbstruck. "Freddie…"

"Don't!" He halted. "Don't say anything about the cost or whatever. A simple thank you will do."

"But Freddie…"

"No."

She smiled slyly at him. "Thank you."

It was getting late and her birthday was coming to a close. Freddie had gone home after a scrumptious dinner of spaghetti tacos, her favorite. Spencer was hard at work on the horn of his "Man Meets Unicorn" sculpture. Sam was watching television.

Carly grabbed a Peppy Cola from the refrigerator and headed up the stairs. Since the celebrating was obviously over, she should make a stab at the mountain of homework her teachers had decided to assign this week. Bastards. But she had just seated herself at her desk when-

"Carly?"

She looked over her shoulder at the blonde standing in her doorway. She leaned into the wall, hands folded behind her back, eyes drifting from object to object. Dressed simply in gray pinstripe slacks and a long-sleeve white shirt, the long lean line of her was nothing short of stunning to Carly. Even if she could only admire from afar, it still caught her attention every time she looked at Sam.

"Yeah?" She finally answered, realizing she had been staring open-mouthed for several minutes.

"You uh…" she glanced away nervously, tucking a stray curl behind her ear, before returning her eyes to Carly. But then they went wide with shock. "You're doing homework on your birthday?!"

Carly blushed, bobbing a shoulder. "I have an English paper due Monday."

"Than do it Sunday!" Sam exclaimed.

"I don't want to. I'd rather get all of my homework done tonight so I can enjoy the rest of the weekend." Carly admitted.

"Screw that!" Sam marched further into the room, stomping her feet into the floor. "Its your freaking sixteenth birthday! Live it up a little!"

Carly offered her a small smile. "Its really okay, Sam. I don't mind doing homework on my birthday. It really isn't a big deal."

Sam slammed the door shut. "Bullshit!"

"Sam…"

"Don't, Carly. Let me, for once, drag you away from being a perfect student and enjoy your birthday. You have all weekend. Your birthday will be over in two hours."

Sam was standing really close to her, bending over slightly to meet her eyes. She actually didn't appear to be all that angry. Just disappointed. Carly's heart flopped over. With a sigh, she set her pencil down.

"Fine. I won't do my homework. Gees. Happy?" Carly leaned back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest.

Sam grinned triumphantly, plopping down on Carly's bed. "Good."

"Now what?"

The room was silent. At first Carly thought Sam was trying to think of a response. But seeing the blush creeping into Sam's cheek, the thought fled. Sam just didn't want to tell her. So there they sat, Carly in her chair and Sam on the bed, blushing in silence.

"I guess… we could…" Sam mumbled in an off-handed kind of way, but she didn't say any more than that.

"We could what?" Carly pressed, joining Sam on the bed.

"Well…"

It wasn't like Sam to be nervous or avoid subjects. She was the type of person to bring up the topics everyone was dancing around or say obnoxious things that weren't generally heard in polite conversation.

"Well what?"

"Well I could give you your birthday present."

She wouldn't look at Carly now. Her eyes were downcast, studying her toes. Her hair blocking the rest of her face. On the other hand, Carly was intrigued.

"What did you get me?" She asked excitedly. Sam had always gotten her a birthday present, so it had been a little shocking when she hadn't offered one up when Spencer and Freddie were giving her theirs.

Sam stood and paced away. "I didn't… wrap it or anything, exactly."

"That's okay." Carly said brightly.

"Its not… great or anything. Just something I hope you want." Sam was staring at her now, face beet red, her fingers gripping her shirt.

"I'm sure it's wonderful." Carly encouraged.

"Freddie actually stole my idea." Sam said sheepishly.

"A video camera?"

"No."

"But-"

"For your sixteenth birthday," Sam pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it to the side. "I'm giving you me."

Carly stared at her nonplussed. Sam, her best friend, her co-host. Not her lover. But here Sam stood, in slacks and a grey bra with little pink hearts. And Carly didn't have a chance to gather her thoughts or respond. Sam was unbuckling her belt and pulling it from the loops in her pants.

"I guess this seems a little out of left field." Sam admitted with a shrug, unbuttoning her pants. "But I hope you'll accept my present."

And there went her pants, pooling around her freshly polished toenails. Carly's eyes traced up the pale skin of her slender legs, her eyes catching on dumb non-eye-catching things like freckles and bruises. Sam's underwear matched her bra with its grey and little pink hearts, only there was a small bow in the front. And wow.

To say the least, this moment wasn't happening how Carly had imagined in her dreams so many times. She'd always pictured some kind of accident where clothes had to be stripped and then things would sort of take a gigantic step forward in their relationship. Not Sam offering herself up. Certainly not that.

Sam stepped away from her pants and over to Carly. "Well? Say something."

But Carly's hands were moving without her consent from the burning pleasure settling low in her stomach. Had she ever been so turned on? The tips of her fingers landed on Sam's hips and she pulled Sam forward gently, pressing a kiss right above her belly button.

"You are so beautiful." Carly murmured.

She felt Sam relax beneath her hands. Her eyes strayed upwards, catching momentarily at the graceful curves of Sam's chest, up to her face. Sam was facing away, her eyes squeezed shut. But her hands had tangled themselves in Carly's hair, so she couldn't be that freaked out.

"Sam?"

"You're not accepting?"

Carly rose to her feet, pulling Sam's body delicately against her own. "Of course I accept." And she rested her lips against Sam's.

It wasn't wild with arms flailing and hot, wet kisses covering every exposed square inch of skin as quickly as possible. They didn't rush through things forcefully and forget to discover those little spots that put meaning in every action.

They made love.

With patience and tenderness, they discovered each other in the only way they never had before. Delicate caresses, gentle movements to keep from rushing. It was amazing how a passion that had felt so powerful and consuming before seemed to slow down for her and take in everything. Sam's lips were soft but firm against her own, her tongue tasting sharply of iced tea and blueberry pie. But the rest of her tasted of soap. Ivory soap. From the skin of her neck to the place just to the back of her ankle, she tasted of that delicate freshness that only Sam could maintain after several hours out of a shower.

It wasn't like her almost hook-ups with Cameron. It didn't feel wrong or like a hook-up at all. She wouldn't, or shouldn't, feel so gleeful if it was right? But she did. If she kissed just beneath Sam's nipple, she let out the softest gasp that made Carly grin. Which in turn made Sam blush.

And when Sam's hands slid down her body, to _there_, she could only moan. No regret, no shoving her away. Instead she dragged her closer so they could sink further into each other.

"What?" Sam blushed again and looked away.

But Carly pulled her back and kissed her lightly, brushing the tip of her tongue ever so lightly with her own. "Don't look away. I want to watch your expression."

"But-"

"Sam."

"Fine. Happy Birthday." Sam muttered, pulling Carly back for another kiss.


	17. Chapter 17

She was cold when she woke up. It wasn't all that startling, considering the freezing temperature outside and the snow that was falling. But it was when she distinctly remembered someone being in her arms when she fell asleep.

Carly sat up, pulling her blankets tighter to her body to block the cold from attacking her bare skin. A cup of coffee sat on her nightstand and she drank deeply from it before deciding she was truly awake.

"Sam?" She called looking around.

"Here." Carly's eyes had already landed on the blonde before she spoke, but it was still nice to hear her voice.

Sam leaned against the window, watching the snow delicately drift to the ground. She had pulled her clothes from the previous day back on along with a black sweatshirt. Her hair had been brushed out and tied back from her face in a loose ponytail. But she wouldn't look at Carly. And she wasn't smiling.

"Is something wrong?" Carly asked, her heart racing in genuine panic.

Sam sighed and finally turned her way. Finally making eye contact. "Not for me. I got what I wanted."

Carly frowned. "What do you mean?" Then she grinned lovingly up at Sam, reaching a hand out. "I got what I wanted too."

Sam shook her head with a roll of her eyes and scratched her forehead. "No, you didn't. And you don't realize it." She took a step toward Carly. "You should hate me."

Now Carly was concerned. "What? Why?"

Sam sighed. "You just… you don't know anything."

Carly glared at her. "Yes I do!" She protested.

"What do you know?"

"I know I'm in love with you!"

They stared at each other for a few minutes in silence. Once again, Carly had spoken without meaning to.

And then Sam sighed heavily. "No, you're not."

"I am!" Carly insisted.

"Carly, if you knew the truth, you'd hate me. Since you don't, your feelings can't possibly be true."

"So tell me the truth." She wasn't quite sure what exactly she was feeling, but confusion was definitely among the mix along with anger at being told her feelings were false.

"It… It isn't that simple, Carly. This has been months in the making and…" Her voice faltered. "I don't want to lose you, but I can't… I just can't." Sam raised her hands palms up in surrender. Her eyes were welling up and her bottom lip quivered momentarily.

"Why don't you tell me and let me decide what I'm going to do?" Carly suggested with a sarcastic grin.

Sam exhaled loudly, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. "Well, I guess it all started when you went to your grandpa's house last summer."

"You felt abandoned?"

"No," Sam rubbed her eyes. "I realized how much you meant to me. I spent the whole summer trying to not think about you."

"Well, you mean a lot to me too."

"I'm not done." Sam snapped. "Mostly I wanted to stop thinking about you because it wasn't a I'm-missing-my-best-friend kind of thing. It was god I want her and she isn't around!"

Sam was breathing heavy, her eyes wide. "Don't you see?" She exclaimed.

Carly blushed and smiled at her. "You've really felt something for me for like six months? You're so cute."

"Damn it, Carly!" She threw her arms up and stood, pacing away before coming back. "You're a smart girl. Don't make me spell all of this out."

"I don't know what you want me to get." Carly admitted.

She was beginning to get a little worried. Sam had never looked so furious before. And she wasn't sure who Sam was mad at, which made things worse.

"Everything! I want you to understand!"

"Then continue your story."

"Fine!" Sam snatched Carly's coffee, although she was sure she didn't need any, and drank deeply.

"Well?"

"Well, I thought my weird… _urges_ might be gone by the time you got back. So I worked all summer and all that, which you already know. But as soon as I saw you when you finally returned from Yakima, it could have been June all over again." Sam was beginning to cool down. She leaned into the wall and slid down to hug her knees into her chest.

"Oh." Carly's heart was beginning to speed up.

"I met Tyler two days after school started." Sam continued. "I could tell that he was interested in me, so I jumped on the opportunity to take my mind off of things. And then that party…"

"So you really did tell Tyler to dare you to kiss me?" The question sprung out of her mouth with a life of its own.

Sam stared at her wide-eyed. "How…?"

"I ran into Tyler at the Groovy Smoothie on Christmas Eve." Carly said sheepishly. "He said you were keeping things from me, but that was the only thing he told me. Its true?"

Sam bowed her head. "Yeah. I'd been looking for a way to kiss you, once I realized I really wanted to, for weeks. And then the party came up and we were playing truth or dare. I told Tyler I wanted you to experience something shocking, so he should dare me to kiss you."

"He said he didn't want you to."

"He didn't." Sam shrugged. "But he did anyway. And he wouldn't let it go after that. He just kept asking why I wanted to. I couldn't tell him, though. I didn't want anyone to know I had these ridiculous…" Her voice faded and she looked away.

"So why did you come to my place after the party? And kiss me again?" Carly asked.

"Mostly because I thought you were mad at me for it. You had this really shocked look on your face afterwards and you ran away. I assumed you were angry."

"So why did you kiss me?"

"I couldn't stop myself. There I was, so close to you and so cold and you weren't pulling away or angry. So I went for it. And you didn't stop me." Sam smiled in a pained way. "You should have stopped me."

"I couldn't." Carly said in an offhand voice, but Sam wasn't listening.

"Then you freaking ran into a pole!" Sam exclaimed, chuckling a little. "I thought, now that I've done it, it should be out of my system."

"But I ran into a pole…?"

"Exactly! You were injured, maybe brain-damaged! Once again, I couldn't not kiss you when you made me get so freaked out in a second. And then I couldn't stop once I had gotten started. It took a lot of will to pull away and go fetch help." Sam folded her arms across her knees.

Carly made a move to go closer to her, but Sam held up a hand.

"No, stay in the bed. It's better if there's distance between us. I need to tell you the rest."

Carly nodded. "Fine."

"Good."

"So why did you set me up with Brian?"

"It was really Tyler's thing. He thought I was more interested in you than him, so he bugged me about it. Eventually I told him I was actually looking for a guy for you. Two class periods later, he told me how interested Brian was."

"Than why did you encourage me?"

"I was scared. I thought Tyler was right, you dating someone might make my feelings change into ones for him. And that would have been a hell of a lot easier than chasing after my best friend." Sam bit her lip.

"So you sent me off to be with Brian and you spent all of your time with Tyler."

"Yeah. Well, I tried to. Only I started feeling like you were avoiding me. So I went to your house to get to the bottom of things."

"But I came home and freaked out at you."

Sam chuckled lightly. "Yes, yes you did. I asked you a bunch of questions to try and block out my own anger, but it only pissed you off. But when you calmed down, you asked me if I loved you. And, once again, thanks to you, I was helpless to do anything else but kiss you."

"As I recall, you did a little more than kiss me." Carly blushed at her own remark.

"Thanks to Spencer, I got a hold of myself." Sam nodded. "And after that, every time I saw you, I could tell you wanted to talk about why I kept kissing you. But I couldn't. I couldn't tell you yet. I just had to keep manipulating you and trick you into thinking I wasn't interested."

"That hurt."

"I know." Sam ran a hand through her ponytail. "I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to stop caring about me, to stop letting me do whatever the hell I wanted. But then Tyler wouldn't stop complaining and I broke up with him."

"You originally told me he dumped you and you were even crying." Carly frowned, glaring slightly. Anger was rising in the pit of her stomach. Had she really been so blind to Sam's intentions and thoughts?

"I was crying because I was in emotional overload. And since I wasn't dating a boy anymore, you might start questioning why I kissed you. I couldn't let that happen." Then Sam smiled softly, genuinely. "And then I realized this was my chance. I could let you in on my feelings. Only I also noticed we weren't really acting much like friends anymore and I needed to fix that if I had any chance. So after your phone rang, I decided to just hang out with you for the night and my feelings could wait."

"But then you molested me against my front door."

"I was just flirting with you in the beginning." Sam grinned innocently. "But I really couldn't help myself when you flirted back. It did go a lot farther than I had originally planned. And I couldn't believe what I was doing. Then I got mad at you for being so careless and letting me do whatever the hell I wanted to, so I pulled back and left."

"You got mad at me? For kissing you back? Seriously?"

"Well, I wanted you to feel something to. And it was after I had left that I realized you must've felt something too if you were letting me do whatever I wanted. So I decided I would just apologize to you at school. Only…"

"Cameron."

"The girlfriend."

"Ex."

"The girlfriend at the time. It hit me that I had missed my shot. I was hurt." Sam rested her head on her arms. "So I made sure you wouldn't be able to sit next to me in class because I didn't know what I would do if I looked at you again."

"I felt shunned."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?"

"Of course."

"You said I would hate you after I knew the story."

"I'm not finished yet."

"Then continue."

"Okay. So I decided to just focus on being a good friend since you were taken. But then you came out to me. And I was a little surprised. Of course, I had already figured out you were dating Cameron, but it was still weird for you to actually tell me. Mostly because I didn't want it to be true." Sam said. "Of course, I also totally overanalyzed the situation and decided you were coming out to me because you had an ulterior motive. Which was good, since I did too. Only, you really were dating Cameron."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't interrupt, I'm on a roll.'"

"Sorry."

"And, I have to admit, I was upset. I think I gave you shit about not feeling like your best friend anymore since you were keeping stuff from me. But I was really pissed because you were dating a girl that wasn't me."

Carly nodded, letting her bed sheet slip from her grasp.

"Then you said you and Cameron were over and I was so psyched. But you also said it had been a couple of weeks earlier and if you had been interested you would have told me as soon as it happened, right? So I slacked off. Only then you kissed me on New Year's. And I realized how wrong I was."

"And you decided to give yourself to me for my sixteenth birthday?" Carly questioned.

"It was still a risk." Sam bobbed a shoulder. "But I decided to put everything out on the line."

"What would you have done if I had said no? Or wanted to talk about this yesterday?"

"I tried not to think about it. I think I probably would have ran again if you had wanted to discuss all of this yesterday."

Carly pursed her lips. "I still don't see why I should be mad at you."

"Are you kidding me? I played with your feelings and manipulated you to the most extreme measures I could reach! I messed with you as much as possible trying to get you to feel the same way I do! How could that not make you mad?" Sam was on her feet, several steps closer to the bed.

"I guess I could get mad. Or I could tell you I ran out of the party in October because I was so unbelievably turned on by your kiss. And it's nice to hear you felt so much for me when I had the same feelings for you. And you weren't manipulating me as much as you think. I was hoping you would do those things. I kissed you on New Year's because I realized I was always forcing you to be the one to act and I really needed to take a stand." Carly shrugged.

"I can't believe this!"

"What now?"

"You aren't even mad and I got dressed and pulled myself from a naked you when I didn't have to!" Sam exclaimed.

Carly pulled the blankets away. "Then get back in."

Sam smiled slyly and pulled her sweatshirt over her head. "Okay." She captured Carly's lips in a delicate kiss.


	18. Chapter 18

"We have to tell them."

"We don't."

"You know we do. This is never going to feel real until they know."

"Well… Okay. But just Spencer. Not Freddie."

"Carly…"

"He'll be crushed!"

"Carly…"

Carly exhaled loudly. Her eyes flicked down to her own fingers, which were delicately tracing Sam's belly button. January was ending and she couldn't believe it had already been a couple of weeks since she had finally gotten what she had wanted. Her best friend, her co-host, her _girlfriend_ stretched out naked underneath her with those azure eyes staring into her own. She reached up and brushed a stray curl out of Sam's face.

"You are so beautiful." She leaned down and pressed a kiss just over Sam's heart.

"Stop trying to distract me. They need to know."

She sighed and pulled back. "Why are you being so pushy about this? Shouldn't I be the one telling _you_ that Spencer and Freddie need to know?"

"You should be, but you aren't. So I have to." She shrugged, sitting up.

"You aren't going to be able to spend the night like this once Spencer knows." Carly taunted, taking Sam's left hand in her own. "And that would do more harm than good."

Sam grinned at her. "You want to keep everything secret so you can continue to fuck me?"

Carly glared at her. "I do not fuck you. That sounds so vulgar."

"Fine. So you can continue to 'make love' to me?" She questioned with air quotes.

"It would be nice. I have needs." Carly told her earnestly. She moved closer and kissed Sam gently.

"We have to tell them." Sam said around Carly's lips.

Carly's head dropped. "You sure know how to ruin a mood."

"Ruin a mood? Really? We've been at it since four this morning! I'm beginning to think you just want me for my body." Sam exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

"You know that's not true."

"Do I?"

"Sam."

"Than tell Spencer. And Freddie."

"You don't even like Freddie!" Carly protested.

"So? You do." Sam folded her arms across her chest, stubborn.

Carly sighed heavily. "Does it really mean that much to you?"

Sam paused and then nodded.

"Why?"

Sam climbed over Carly and out of the bed. Then she started searching the room for her underwear, pulling a t-shirt over her head as she went.

"Because," She finally said with a shrug, smiling as she snatched her panties off of a day old coffee cup.

"That's not a good enough reason and you know it." Carly had never smoked once in her life, but she felt the sudden need for a cigarette after the night she'd had.

Sam sat down on the bed next to her. "We accidentally, and some purposely for me, put each other through hell these last few months. Continuing on like this seems to continue our irrational, ridiculous, stressful behavioral pattern of self destruction!"

Carly giggled and grinned at her. "I can't believe you just said that."

Sam chuckled too. "Stupid Psych class. That teacher is in my head."

"It shows."

"Please, Carly?" pleaded Sam. "Tell them for me."

"Or what?"

"Or I will never have sex with you again." Sam smiled at her and headed for the door, grabbing a pair of pants on her way.

Carly watched her walk away, waiting for her to change her mind. But she wasn't. So Carly jumped out from under her blankets, completely naked, and chased after Sam.

"WAIT!"

Sam was grinning evilly as she turned around. "Yes?" She said silkily.

She squeezed her eyes shut. "We'll tell them."

"When?"

"Soon."

"Today."

"What?" She snatched Sam's hands and pulled her back further into the room. "Today? No way. Too soon. This kind of thing takes careful planning."

"No it doesn't. Spencer already knows you're gay. And you've already had a girlfriend before. This is no big deal." Sam shrugged.

"Uh, he never met Cameron. And this is you. This is so different it's practically at opposite ends of the solar system." Her voice was slightly shaky in her slight panic.

"I'm not getting you."

Carly rolled her eyes. "That was seafood and this is ham." Carly compared, resorting to food to get her message across to Sam.

Sam smiled dreamily at her. "I love ham."

"And you love me, right?" Carly widened her eyes hopefully.

Sam frowned at her. "What are you getting at?"

"Don't you?"

"Duh."

"And you wouldn't want to put someone you love through having to do this so early in a relationship, would you?"

Sam shook her head with a grin. "Don't you dare try that! Or maybe I'll start thinking you don't want to tell them because you're planning on dropping me soon." She puffed out her bottom lip innocently.

"FINE!"

Carly stomped around her room in an angry way, despite not being all that mad. She fished through piles of clothes, she'd been too distracted as of late to get around to actually putting away her laundry, and pulled on a mismatched outfit.

"Okay, let's go tell them." She grabbed Sam's hand and dragged her out of the room.

"Now?" Sam exclaimed, trying to keep up with her, stumbling down the stairs.

"Of course, now. Didn't you want this done as soon as possible?" Carly grinned back at her, reaching the bottom of the stairs.

"I meant in an hour or two. Not this second." Sam hissed at her.

"Well, it's a bit late for that." Carly mumbled out of the corner of her mouth when they all but crash landed in front of Spencer.

And Spencer is staring at them as if they are the strange ones, even though his left hand is encased in what looks life a spaceship made of olives.

Carly can't believe her life has reached this moment. Everything had started with a stupid dare and a stupid first kiss that had sent her world spiraling down until she no longer felt like she knew herself. She had dated a boy that made her realize she was gay, dated his sister, and just generally screwed herself and the people around her. And yet, somehow, life wasn't so bad. And since everything began with a kiss, she would end it all with a kiss.

"Spencer, we have something to tell you." Carly announced.

He looked away from his olives, his eyes glazing over their hands, which were still joined, and up to her face. He didn't say anything, but his face asked the question for him.

Carly grinned broadly at him. "I actually really don't know how to say it. So, I'll just show you."

She curled her fingers around the back of Sam's head and pulled her closer until their lips met. She could hear Spencer's questions and general shock, but she didn't care. Her life had been agony over this kiss for so long.

This time, she was going to enjoy it.


End file.
